16 Things The Government Should Ban To Prevent Rape In India

You get a ban! YOU get a ban! EVERYONE gets a ban!

On December 8, the government announced that private car service Uber is banned in New Delhi, effective immediately, for being in violation of the Radio Taxi Scheme of 2006. This announcement comes two days after a mid-twenties woman was raped by her Uber driver on her way home from work on December 6, in New Delhi.

"In this rape case, the victim was provided a All India Permit Taxi which is not allowed to ferry customers point-to-point in the National capital," Special Commissioner of Delhi Transport Department, Satish Mathur told the Economic Times.

We admire the government's swift action to prevent future rapes, and have a few more suggestions for them while they're at it.

1. #BanRoads

sandeepachetan.com / Via Flickr: sandeepachetan

Honestly, roads are just making it easier for rapists to get to their victims. Now if we remove roads out of the equation, we can all be safe.

2. #BanCars

দেবর্ষি রায় / Via Flickr: debarshiray

Let's not facilitate easy access to potential victims. Also why provide an extra place to do the deed?

3. #BanSleep

James Southorn / Via Flickr: jsouthorn

Because falling asleep is the most obvious sign of "asking for it." Even monkeys know that.

4. #BanFood

Premshree Pillai / Via Flickr: premshree

We've already been told that chow-mein causes rape. Can't we sacrifice all food in the interest of women's safety? You know what they say – if you starve to death, you can't get raped!

5. #BanDelhi

Arian Zwegers / Via Flickr: azwegers

The legal and legislative capital of our county? More like the rape capital of our country. Let's do away with this whole geographic location please.

6. #BanAlcohol

Premnath Thirumalaisamy / Via Flickr: premnath

We all know alcohol releases an unquenchable thirst to rape, turning even the most innocent of men into ravenous rapists. Shame on you, alcohol!

7. #BanClothes

http://Mr.Fink's Finest Photos / Via Flickr: mrfink

Why tantalise and give rapists something to take off?

8. #BanFestivals

sandeepachetan.com / Via Flickr: sandeepachetan

How many times have men got caught up in the bonhomie of festivals and proceeded to rape those celebrating. Cease all celebrations so I can feel safer.

9. #BanMarriage

Shounak Ray / Via Flickr: shounakray

With the number of marital rapes only increasing, let's just ban this sham of an institution.

10. #BanMeat

cishore™ / Via Flickr: kishorephotography

We've been told by reliable sources that men who eat meat are more inclined towards rape and molestation. Making India an all-veg state would not only be a dream come true for Gujaratis but women too.

11. #BanBollywood

Meena Kadri / Via Flickr: meanestindian

We've honestly had enough with bold Bollywood promoting rape culture. When will they realise how impressionable our men are?

12. #BanPhones

Kārlis Dambrāns / Via Flickr: janitors

This unsanitary device infected with thousands of links of porn and sexually charged profile pictures is causing nothing but trouble.

13. #BanNewspapers

Phil Whitehouse / Via Flickr: philliecasablanca

Indian newspapers really need to stop giving everyone ideas with their detailed reporting of rapes.

14. #BanWomen

Prabhu B Doss / Via Flickr: kshathriya

I, for one, would rather stop existing than have to worry and have loved ones worry about my safety every time I step out of the house.

15. #BanMen

denisbin / Via Flickr: 82134796@N03

The quickest and surest solution to the whole problem, banning men is the only way to ensure that no more rapes occur. Not on our watch.

16. #BanIndia

sandeepachetan.com / Via Flickr: sandeepachetan

While we're so readily blaming and banning every entity even tangentially related to gender-related violence, we may as well stop existing as a whole. Much easier to disappear off the face of the earth than escape rape culture, right?