1. Ah, George Square, the pinnacle of Christmas in Glasgow.
2. I wonder what the absolute age limit is for the Merry-Go-Round?
3. Would it be pure brass neck if I asked somebody? Aye, probably.
4. But if my pals go on with me, it'll be much less of a riddy.
5. Is there a difference between a bratwurst and a bockwurst?
6. I ~could~ look it up on Google.
7. Then again, I could just get one of each and find out myself.
8. I'm not the only one who worries about falling over in the ice rink and having my fingers sliced off, right?
9. Hot chocolate seems a much safer option. You can keep your skates, pal.
10. These guys on the rink are absolute troopers though.
11. Seriously, it's bloody pissing it down but they look pure gallus, gliding through what can only be described as a pond.
12. Except that wee lassie clutching onto the barrier, she looks terrified.
13. I feel your pain, wee lassie, I feel your pain.
14. Ah, the Glasgow Christmas lights, the same today as they have been since I can remember.
15. Those bloody swinging bells and angels are going to outlive me, aren't they?
16. Aye, you can stuff yer Street of Light, Edinburgh. Ours have been going for decades.
17. I have a seriously overwhelming urge to have some mulled wine right now.
18. Even though I vividly remember how boggin' it was when I got it last year.
19. But fuck it. 'Tis the season, and aw that.
20. Nut, still boggin'.
21. Aromatic, spiced pish in a cup.
22. Aw man, the big swings! Deffo having a shot o' those bad boys.
23. OK, note to self: Going on the big swings after a full bag of candy floss is not a wise move.
24. Totally worth it though.
25. And anyway, I need to train my stomach for the Irn-Bru Carnival. Waltzers to ride, cheeseburgers to eat.
26. Wait, where the actual fuck is the Helter Skelter?
27. That's bang out of order, by the way. It's not Christmas in Glasgow without it.
28. At least the log cabin bar is still here.
29. Even when it's -90° and bloody miserable, you can count on us Weegies to always be up for a cheeky pint.
30. Every year I'm pure buzzin' to go on the Big Wheel.
31. Every year I go on and sit bored out my nut for half an hour, checking Facebook.
32. I wonder what it's like in the VIP cab?
33. Like, do they have champagne on ice and chocolate covered strawberries, or is it literally just tinted windows?
34. Before the day is out, I ~will~ win one of those giant teddy bears.
35. The George Square Christmas tree is always a pure belter.
36. I think this is actually where that wee boy fell in the Irn-Bru Christmas advert.
37. And that dirty scumbag of a snowman tanned his can o' ginger.
38. Oh Merchant City, you beautiful, sparkly bastard.
39. Jeezo, these Christmas pantos just look worse every year.
40. Rab C. Nesbitt in Snow White? NAW.
41. Just, naw.
42. Oh, what fresh hell is this? The Hoff starring in Peter Pan.
43. With Michelle McManus.
44. And the Krankies (obviously).
45. FandabiNOzi.
46. Truth be told, Wee Jimmy ~is~ a bit of a legend though.
47. Nanny "Nae" Nonsense? Shite patter, mate.
48. You can always count on Maia for the best Christmas gifts.
49. Like mugs that just have "Fanny Baws" written on them.
50. Because everyone has at least one Fanny Baws in their life.
51. Christmas is the only time you can truly justify shopping in Princes Square.
52. Which is great because it makes you feel pure fancy.
53. Awrite, let's see what wonders the St Enoch's Square Christmas market has in store.
54. My nose is already overwhelmed with too many amazing smells right now.
55. So much delicious food, so little stomach space!
56. Churros, stir-fry, paella…get in ma belly!
57. Ha! Only in Glasgow would the phrase "World Class Munchies" sound like the best thing in existence.
58. Yep, there it is, Irn-Bru fudge. Textbook Scottish Christmas gift.
59. Those knitted cartoon character hats are creepy AF.
60. I can't tell which is worse: Mickey Mouse or the Minion one.
61. They're all staring at me with their mad, wee, badly-knitted eyeballs.
62. A stall for craft beers? That'll be the hipsters taking over Christmas then.
63. I know there's ~someone~ in my family who would love a handcrafted wooden sculpture for Christmas.
64. I just can't think of anyone off the top of my head right now.
65. That elephant is braw though. Guys got some mad skills.
66. Yassss, fake snow! Shut up and take my money!
67. About five cans should do it.
68. Although as ever it'll start snowing for real as soon as I get these home.