The 10 Stages Of 12+ Hour Flights

Summer vaca' is upon us and for those embarking on the long flights around the world, let us prepare for the 10 stages of long-haul travel.

1. Pre-Trip Jitters

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You walk toward your gate in the international terminal saying to yourself, "OMG they're going to China . . . they're going to Australia . . . they're going to Italy . . . I'm going to England . . OMG this is the best day ever!"

2. That's Right B*tch, I'm Here. To fly.

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Feeling like a BA because you saved for 12 months to buy your ticket 6 months before this fateful day and you're gonna walk like the BAMF that you are.

3. Stop at the Gift Shop and Buy... Everything

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Those unnecessary calf-warmers: purchased!

4. Boarding Time. Cue the Stress Of Being Unplugged for More than Half a Day

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What . . . But I need to post . . . Quick! Initiate ultra-posting maneuver #27!

5. Sit Down and Realize the Odds are Not in your Favor

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6. Hours 1-4. Feelin' fly. Checkin' the Movies, the Meals, the Men

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Look at all the eye-candy and real candy on this plane!

7. When Hour 7 Isn't Even Halfway . . . and you Can't Sleep

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Wait . . . It's Only Been How Many Hours? Are you kidding?

8. Sleep for Hours 7-10 . . . Hour 11 Doesn't Look so Good on You

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Just stay away from the bathroom mirrors. They remind us of Snakes on a Plane anyway...

9. You Realize There is a God when the Sun Comes Out and They Serve Breakfast

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too bad it's mildly disgusting and you're face feels like a moist piece of toilet paper

10. Wheels Touch Down. And Everyone Might as Well Have the Plague

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Screw these people I need a real bathroom.