I really don't like sitting at picnic tables.Frasier was funnier than Friends.Balsamic Vinaigrette is the tastiest salad dressing.Dust jackets for books are just annoying; go away.In an ideal world my room is frigid and my bed is warm.I'm fine with the level of mandolin popularity right now.Sauerkraut is delicious when it's in a Reuben but not otherwise.Rugrats just kind of bummed me out.I have no strong feelings about Coconut Water because it's such a mild taste.German Shepherd is the finest breed of dog.I'm not sure why people want special Oreos since regular Oreos are perfect.I miss the tradition of hood ornaments.It's kind of silly to brag about things you had no say in (like where you were born.)Pouring syrup from a little cabin-shaped bottle is preferable always.Microwave popcorn is currently the height of human achievement.Longer battery life is all I really want from my smartphone.Normal rain is fine. Sideways rain is what's bad.I giggle quietly every time I see a baby facing outward in a baby carrier.I don't care if certain parts of movies are unrealistic. They're movies.For instance if animals are talking, then I wouldn't examine the plot too carefully.Celebrities are about as interesting as everyone else.The conspicuous navel on a Teddy Graham weirds me out just a bit.Going to a movie alone makes me feel like the ruler of all the land.If I get "O" in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe I don't even feel like playing.People who slap me on the back are not friends.I'd be more into yoga if there were a competition element.Wintergreen is a tasty flavor but too weak to freshen breath.I don't care for the phrase "push notifications."True/False is the most stressful kind of quiz.Word Art is the best part of Powerpoint.Even if I become ancient royalty somehow I'd still rather feed myself grapes.The window seat on a plane is so obviously the best.We could do with more obelisks around here.I like those commercials for cotton even though I'm not sure why exactly they exist.14 is the best number.The roasted nuts that street vendors sell smell way better than they taste.I wish more doors were saloon doors.I can both love something and be terrified by it. Looking at you, bats.If all bread were suddenly naan that would be fine.I feel kind of bad for city pigeons, but I still don't feed them.I think feet are fascinating but not in a weird way.I'd rather have rooftop access than cable TV.The sound of a bowling alley makes me just a bit depressed.I wish to abstain from all Thumb Wars.You can't make a cheddar cheese that is too sharp for me.Reese's Pieces over M&M's.French toast over pancakesRomantic over baroque.Bill Withers over just about everyone.I wish more train conductors said, "All aboard!"