15 Wild Bachelorette Party Horror Stories That'll Make You Put Off Marriage Forever
"We found her asleep in a porta-potty outside a food truck festival. "
1. The groom who made a new furry friend:
"For my bachelor party, we went on a camping trip where we got absolutely obliterated. I tried to crawl out of my tent to hurl in the woods. I got part of the way, puked both in and out of the tent, and promptly passed out. I woke up on the ground in a pool of my own vomit with a raccoon eating it two feet from my face."
2. The nurse in a strip club:
"I had just graduated from nursing school and was at my sister-in-law's bachelorette party in Atlantic City. We went to a strip club and a bachelor was brought up on stage to get a lap dance. Everything was going fine until suddenly his head went limp and he became totally unconscious. I wound up having to hop up on stage and take over the situation as best as I could! My vibe was kind of killed after that."
3. The most New Orleans stripper ever:
"When our stripper arrived, he got drunk and attempted to helicopter his penis — and by attempted, I mean he couldn’t stand up straight, let alone get enough momentum to swing his completely flaccid penis. He then said, 'I didn’t always want to be a stripper. My dream is to be in the WWE.' He then showed us his audition video that included him popping out of a swamp."
4. The sex toy enthusiast:
"The bride invited her mother, aunt, and sister-in-law to the bachelorette party. The bride opened a gift, which ended up being a sex toy. The sister-in-law, who is married to the bride’s brother, said that she uses it and explained her experience with it — with his mother sitting right there. There wasn’t even alcohol to downplay how awkward it was."
5. The Mexican restaurant mess express:
"One of my bridesmaids and I went to the bathroom of a Mexican restaurant. She walked into the stall, tripped and fell, and broke her nose! Shortly thereafter, I was in the bathroom again with another bridesmaid, who needed to throw up. I’ll never know if the big spot on my pant leg was vomit or queso."
6. The accidentally public hookup:
"It was my buddy's bachelor party. We rented a swanky penthouse suite with a huge rooftop patio. I ended up having very loud, drunk sex on the rooftop with the stripper. At one point I looked over to my left and saw the owners of the hotel standing a few feet away, one of whom started hitting me with her shoe. We were kicked out shortly after that."
7. The maid of honor who recreated Bridesmaids:
"We went out to a hibachi restaurant one night, and the chef cooked shrimp on the same surface as all the other food. It turned out the maid of honor is allergic to shrimp, and she literally shit her pants."
8. The nauseating love scene:
"When we all got to the hotel room, we found my best friend and the wedding officiant having sex. My other friend, who had gotten kicked out of the club, promptly fell over and projectile vomited all over them."
9. The rest in restroom:
"After getting back to the hotel from the bar, we realized that the groom's sister was missing. We had to backtrack and finally found her asleep in a porta-potty that was outside a food truck festival. "
10. The girlfriend of the century:
"One of the bridesmaids went on and on about how in love she was with her boyfriend the whole ride to Vegas on the party bus. Fast forward about 10 hours, we went to a strip club. She became very fond of one of the strippers and ended up inviting him back to our suite. At 4 a.m. I was awoken by this super loud moaning — this girl was hooking up with the stripper, right in the middle of the room where at least four of us were sleeping. So much for that boyfriend she was so in love with."
11. The reluctant street fighter:
"I was sober that night — but that didn’t stop me from accidentally initiating an all-out bar brawl. The bouncer grabbed my wrists and pushed me into a nearby support beam, which set off pretty much every guy in our group like a herd of angry water buffalo. A bunch of strangers got involved and about 20 people ended up fist-fighting in the street."
12. The super chill, fun experience with drugs:
"One of the bride's friends was too paranoid to bring the edibles on the plane, so she ate a huge weed-laced Rice Krispie Treat in the airport and proceeded to have a massive panic attack on the plane."
13. The groom straight from the flaming depths of hell:
"As a bartender and server in Savannah, Georgia, I saw a soon-to-be-groom flip off his fiancé and proceed to make out with the maid of honor — at my table, while I was standing there. I didn’t know what to do, so I stood there awkwardly as fighting ensued."
14. The makeup artist who had to make up for being late:
"The makeup artist and party planner for a friend's wedding went out for the bachelorette party the night before the wedding. We woke up the next morning to a phone call from her — she was about two hours away at a beach house with people she didn't know. One of the other bridesmaids had to start hair and makeup instead."
15. And the bridesmaid who almost made it home:
"At my sister’s bachelorette party in Nashville, I blacked out and tried to find the Airbnb that we were staying in. I ended up sleeping on a bench outside of a random hotel. When I woke up, I figured out that I was actually only a quarter mile from the Airbnb."