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43 Wild "Love Is Blind" Season 3 Behind-The-Scenes Facts, Straight From The Cast Themselves

"That moment was just so cringe. That was textbook cringe."

Natasha Jokic
by Natasha Jokic

BuzzFeed Staff

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Maybe you've noticed me cryptically saying that more "exclusive Love Is Blind content" is forthcoming at the bottom of various posts. Or maybe this is the first time you've even clicked on BuzzFeed and don't know what in Satan's name I am talking about. Either way, THE DAY IS HERE, BABY! SOUND THE ALARMS! LOVE IS BLIND SEASON 3 MEGA-BEHIND-THE-SCENES LIST, LET'S GOOOOO!

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Yes, I spoke to SK, Raven, Nancy, and Zanab about the highs and the many, many lows behind the third installment of my favorite hit Netflix car crash — and, god love 'em, they did not hold back.

Sara Mally / Netflix / BuzzFeed

So, here are all the juiciest things BuzzFeed learned from the Love Is Blind S3 cast:

Obviously, there will be LOTS OF SPOILERS! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

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1. Zanab, Raven, and SK were all prompted to apply after receiving a DM on Instagram saying that Love Is Blind was casting in Dallas.

Netflix

"I got a call from LA, I picked up my Bluetooth and I thought it was spam. I was like, 'What are you talking about?' She's like, 'You applied for this!'" Zanab said, noting that casting involved a 200-question questionnaire about "personal beliefs," a Zoom call, and a video test.

2. SK and Raven were two of the last people to be cast — and the time between Raven's first application to getting on a flight to the pods was just six weeks.

Netflix

"When they reached out to me about casting, I just ignored it for a couple of weeks. I didn't look at it, I thought it was a scam. The day I responded was the very last day of casting," SK said.

3. Season 3 was filmed in the summer of 2021.

Netflix

"I appreciate that the internet only learned of me six weeks ago — but it's a [version of] me that was a year and a half ago! The really strong opinions has brought up a lot — it's brought up a lot of sadness, it's brought up a lot of mixed emotions, just from the stuff we all hadn't seen," Zanab said.

As for the reunion, Raven somewhat cryptically said that it was a "very recent" shoot.

4. Pod dates will start at around seven minutes with each contestant — to hours-long dates near the end.

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"We really did date everyone," Zanab emphasized, noting that she and Cole even had a multi-course pod dinner one evening that wasn't shown.

5. According to Zanab, there was minimal producer interaction during the pod phase of the show.

Netflix

She said, "We were just left alone with cameras on! It was like, 'Wow, you really want to get us eating this much?'"

6. Nancy said that watching the now-infamous eye drops scene with Andrew was a "slap in the face."

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"He wasn't genuine leading up to the proposal — even the proposal, I question the proposal. What did you really do it for? I thought it was very disrespectful that he didn't take this experience seriously, because I did come to this experience with my open heart," Nancy said.

7. Zanab asked Cole about what happened with his ex-wife while they were in the pods, but it didn't make the final cut.

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"There's conversation online like, 'You didn't ask about his ex- wife!' You think I didn't ask? Of course I asked!" Zanab said.

8. Raven found the jumping jacks scene "horrendous" to watch back.

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"In the moment, I truly was so oblivious," Raven said. "Everyone who was in the pods with me knew that I was moving around, it was not a secret. But that moment was just so cringe. That was textbook cringe."

As for SK's thoughts on the scene, he added, "When I saw that, I knew that was my Raven. When we spend time around each other, we're just randomly talking and she'll be stretching."

9. Raven wished that more of her pod dates with SK were shown.

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"I think it would make our story make more sense," Raven said. "We had some great pod moments."

10. And SK said that he understood why people might question why they became a couple based on what was shown.

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"Even during the days of the pods where we're dating, I was like, 'You're just, like, a goofball,'" SK said. "People just never really saw that part of her and it looks like an incomplete story."

11. Zanab described the pool party scene as a "turning point" in her relationship with Cole.

Netflix

"There were four other women there and he rated two of them higher than me. So you're basically saying that you're gonna find half of women more attractive than me," she said. "I don't know if women would take that better than me — but it really did just awaken a lot of insecurities in me and I did try to express that to him."

12. Rating Raven and Colleen above Zanab, combined with "commentary on food," led to her "trying to do anything I could to be more desirable to him."

Netflix

Zanab said, "There was direction and commentary on food. I don't think Cole had it in his head, 'I'm actively trying to control what this girl is eating.' But that paired with the comparisons of me to other women that I can't possibly look like — that are either outside of my race or smaller than me — I was just trying to do anything I could to be more desirable to him, to be his type so that he would somehow love me and we could get back to where we were."

13. On the flight back from Malibu to Dallas, Zanab told Cole off camera that he had been "wildly disrespectful" and that they could end things if he wanted — but he said he wanted to continue.

Netflix

"I just told him, 'I've never accepted disrespect in a relationship. You've been wildly disrespectful. If you don't like me — I can't be skinnier, I can't look like Colleen, I can't be any whiter — if there is not an I do for you at the end of this, you need to let me know. We're going home, we can tap out, we can leave because I have never in my life stuck around for something like this. And he was like, 'No, I want to marry the girl from the pod,'" Zanab said. 

14. Nancy said that it was "disrespectful" of Bartise to bring up her views on abortion in front of his family without giving her "a heads up."

Netflix

"The way that it's edited is exactly the way that it happened," Nancy said. "He threw me under the bus, to be bringing up such a sensitive topic in front of his family on camera. I would have gladly had that conversation — I mean, I did in that moment — maybe off camera."

15. SK said that the scene where he and Raven discussed finances — including her asking him to pay his rent — was "edited to look a certain way."

Netflix

"There was context before and after that," SK said. "I think finance is one of the things we've barely even talked about in our relationship. She's very independent, she works. I'm also in school and we try to make things work between ourselves. So it's really not one-sided at all."

16. Zanab said that she was struck by the difference between how Cole spoke to her and Matt at the cocktail party.

Netflix

Speaking about Cole's conversations with her, she said, "It was, 'Zanab, we've talked about this, I've told you this, you shouldn't be upset about this.' But then [in] the conversation he had with Matt, he seemed to validate Matt's feelings — and then came right over to me and was like, 'But you, you can't be upset.' And I think he said something to the gist of, 'If I was in your shoes, I'd be upset too.' So it's okay if Matt's upset, and if Cole was Matt then Cole would be upset — but me being upset was out of this world and uncalled for."

17. And that she wasn't "blind" to how she sometimes nagged Cole.

Netflix

"That night at dinner, I nag, nag, nag him. I'm able to see that," Zanab said, noting how Cole later said that she was edited to appear more nagging in the show than IRL. "We did have laughs. We did have fun. I wouldn't have accepted a proposal from someone and expected us to never have fun when he is the goofy guy that he is."

18. Nancy said that she felt "blindsided" by Bartise's no at the altar because he had previously asked her for a second chance.

Netflix

"I was blindsided because halfway through our relationship, once I saw who he was showing me to be, I was going to say no. And I told him that and he asked me for a second chance," Nancy said. "He changed up and really put his best foot forward in our relationship for the last two weeks — leading up to the shot five minutes before I walked down the aisle, 'Let's do the damn thing.'"

19. Nancy's hardest moment to watch back was seeing how Bartise spoke to her family on their wedding day.

Netflix

"I am so disheartened that Bartise raised his voice at my mother [and] the fact that he calls my brother out and says, 'You're making this worse,'" Nancy said. "That was my hardest scene to watch. What I couldn't say in my heart at that moment, my mom and my brother were actually there to speak up on my behalf and really feel a pain that I felt — they were able to verbally express it."

20. SK reached out to Raven after their wedding day, apologized for what happened, and explained his "reasoning" for saying no.

Netflix

"Obviously, as everyone saw, the wedding was, like, a very emotional day. It was a long day. A lot went on that day. Right after the wedding, we actually didn't get to talk immediately. Everyone went back to the groom's chambers, to bride's chambers, we got to do interviews for the show," SK said.

21. And that, according to Raven, their biggest challenge post-show was "accepting that we're on a different path."

Netflix

"We have a great relationship and we've grown in so many areas — like our communication is so good. Because we operate on long distance, our growth is a little bit slower. We've had these two years to really strengthen our communication skills, mainly because we aren't physically together a lot," Raven said.

22. Cast members watched the show for the first time before the reunion was filmed.

Netflix

"It's a very genuine reaction. There was no communication between us before," Zanab said. "The first time we got to talk about it was on those couches at the reunion."

23. Zanab said that she did not ask the other women to "back" her up in the reunion episode.

Netflix

"Those women are exceptional," she said. "They're all grown women with their own opinions, they all saw [and] heard things on their own. ... When someone else is calling you crazy, or calling you a liar, or discrediting you, it meant everything to have those girls speak up, to have them in my corner."

24. Both Zanab and SK said that Bartise received a similar amount of criticism to Cole when the reunion episode was filmed — it just didn't make the final cut.

Netflix

"We were there filming for hours, and all the parts where he got heat for everything that happened just didn't make it to the final cut. So that made it seem one-sided," SK said.

"With Nancy coming to my defense, I definitely had words for Bartise too. No one got off unscathed," Zanab added.

25. Zanab said that both she and Cole asked for the Cuties footage to be included in the reunion episode.

Netflix

"Cole definitely asked for it. I asked for it, too. And, for me, it played out exactly as I said it did," she said. "There was so much behind the Cutie conversation — being told by my fiancé repetitively things like, 'You're fattening yourself up,' 'You don't physically look like anything I date,' 'I date Lillies, you're not a Lily.'"

26. And that her replies to him were "not the normal response of someone that is only for the first time being asked about what she's eating."

Netflix

Zanab continued, "There was definitely a part of me that wanted to protect him a bit. I don't know if I just didn't want to get into it in that moment or if I was fed up of just telling him, 'Hey, you say these things and they hurt my feelings.'"

27. Zanab decided to post on social media about the backlash as it "felt like the way to put out a blanket 'this is what I'm going to say about it.'"

28. Both Zanab and Raven said that Colleen's nervous appearance during the reunion episode was due to her fears over the pool scene. According to Zanab, Colleen even apologized to her about the scene before the cameras started rolling at the reunion.

Netflix

"I think her and Matt are in such a great place," Zanab said. "She could not apologize enough about the pool conversation to me — she was worried about it going in, she was worried about it after, she still apologizes to me to this day. I'm just not one to drag a woman on that — Cole was my fiancé, Cole should not have baited her into that conversation."

29. And Raven chalked up Matt's behavior to him "trying to comfort" Colleen.

Netflix

"I think Matt was, like, trying to comfort her because she really didn't want to disrespect Zae in any way, her and Zae are very close," Raven said. "I think Matt's body language was just a lot."

30. Cole and Zanab have not spoken since the reunion episode filmed.

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"Since the reunion? No, no, no, we haven't," Zanab said.

31. Nancy and Bartise have spoken since the reunion and are "acquaintances."

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"We have been on talking terms, really just understanding that this is a unique experience," Nancy said.

32. Zanab said that the biggest misconception about her in the show is that she's a "monster."

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"I am fiercely loving and protective of my people," Zanab said. "I never meant to hurt anybody. I've always handled Cole with kindness, I will always handle him with kindness. I got praised all season for being well spoken — like, if you think I was gonna get up at that altar and slip up on my words all of a sudden, no.

The misconception that I'm all the ugly things on the internet — I'm truly not. I was raised better than that. I was raised with a kind heart, my parents did an excellent job raising me, and I'm just not that person. I'm not the villain, I'm not the bad guy."

33. And Raven said that she came off as "reserved and standoffish" at the beginning of the show.

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"I'm glad people are seeing [my funnier, lighter side] now. I feel like people felt like I was super harsh to SK and that I was mean to him. That is not the case," Raven said.

34. Raven said that it felt like a "jab" to see Lauren Speed from Season 1 claim that Black women were edited out of the show — and that the bigger problem was with men who were cast who weren't actually willing to date outside their race.

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"I have been waiting to address that," Raven said. "I consider myself a Black woman. So it's hurtful to me. Also, I ended up with an African man. So I'm just confused why they're talking about race as if we don't have diversity on the show.

"I love that that's a discussion topic, but to me actually being there, I would like to offer that this demographic of women weren't able to make successful connections not because of the color of their skin or production, but maybe because of the men that were on the other side of the wall. I'm not throwing anyone under the bus, but we have to build connections through a wall. And if you can't do that, because people on the other side aren't looking for what you have to offer, then you aren't a part of the story. I hate that. That's the way the cookie crumbled and I would like to talk about it more. 

"It's not that anyone's being edited out, there were no other couples that came off of the show — besides the ones that you guys saw. I was genuinely surprised —this was one of the most diverse casts I've ever seen, there were so many other Black women, and it was so fun to have this experience with them. But unfortunately, there weren't a lot of men cast on the other side that weren't looking for that. There's receipts of some of these guys specifically saying that that isn't something that they're looking for. So, to me, that's what we should be talking about."

35. SK and Raven are currently in a relationship.

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"We're dating. I hate people are like, 'We don't need titles.' We're dating!" Raven said.

36. SK is in his final year of school, and he and Raven are currently exploring where they want to "establish [their] residence" after.

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"In the past, one of the biggest challenges we had was possibly moving to California. We're looking at all those details now — and all options are on the table," SK said.

37. And one of the most challenging parts of keeping their relationship under wraps after the show was with SK's classmates.

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SK said, "When you're on a college campus every day, you sit next to people in class every day, and people happen to watch the show — and you can't even tell them anything about it — that was definitely hard."

38. Raven's relationship with SK's mom is still "great."

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"He has such a great family life and it's so different from mine. It's been really fun to acclimate to this big family, and she is the most loving woman. So I'm, like, super lucky," Raven said.

39. Raven and SK have hung out with the married couples post-show, including group vacations.

40. Zanab said she has been on "a really beautiful journey of self-love" since the show ended.

41. And Nancy credits therapy with helping her recognize her "weaknesses."

42. Zanab is currently single.

43. Finally, Nancy is also currently single.

A huge thank-you to the cast for speaking to us! You can read more Love Is Blind content here.

Note: Quotes have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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