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21 Things You'll Know If You're Actually Awful At Flirting

Are they flirting or are they just being friendly with you? You'll never know.

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1. Flirting, as far as you're concerned, is a thing other people do – most likely other people who are also characters in Hollywood films – and something you would rather not do.

2. That's not to say you can't do light-hearted banter and witty retorts.

FX Network

3. You just can't do it flirtatiously.

4. You can barely speak to people you fancy, let alone successfully flirt with them.

5. Or you do the opposite and straight-up word vomit.

You either say something incredibly stupid or just a rambling story that goes nowhere, and only realise what you're doing when it's already too late.
The WB Television Network

You either say something incredibly stupid or just a rambling story that goes nowhere, and only realise what you're doing when it's already too late.

6. Your usually hilarious jokes somehow just become unintelligible drivel.

7. You can never tell if someone is flirting with you.

8. No matter how forward someone is, you'll be able to reason away any ~flirty vibes~.

NBC

"They're just really friendly!"

9. Or you won't even think about it until it clicks long after the interaction has ended.

CBS

Five years later, while sipping on your morning coffee, you finally realise that the offer to see a film together wasn't actually because they really, really wanted to see the special 18th anniversary screening of Home Alone 3.

10. Unless one of your friends points out something that was apparently so obvious to them.

11. Once you finally realise someone is flirting with you, and you don't fancy them back, you're horrified and completely unable to turn them down nicely, subtly, or convincingly.

Fox

"Um, sorry, I would love to get drinks...but I am being shipped off...to war. Right now. OK bye."

12. And if you do fancy them, then you just become a human version of this spider.

13. Or you're so surprised to realise someone is trying to flirt with you that you're actually unable to react in any reasonable, human way.

14. Whenever you do actually make a conscious attempt to flirt, it always seems to go tits up.

15. If you try complimenting them, you always somehow compliment something too specific, which is kind of creepy.

"Wow, you have such lovely nailbeds."
Netflix / Twitter: @ItsOITNBQuotes

"Wow, you have such lovely nailbeds."

16. When you try playfully teasing, you just end up insulting your crush.

EMI Films

17. Frankly, the thought of flirting just makes you cringe.

NBC

18. If the planets line up and by some strange circumstance you manage to have a successful flirtatious interaction, you can never follow up successfully.

19. And watching other people flirt fills you with secondhand embarrassment and awe.

Universal Pictures

20. You're kinda jealous of and have infinite admiration for your friends who are self-proclaimed ~flirts~.

20th Century Fox

How can you do that?? How can you be so smooth and casual??

21. But that's alright, because apparently the best kind of flirting is when neither of you know you're doing it.