1. Told you off for wearing outdoor shoes indoors.2. Insisted you always wear slippers indoors.3. Kept spare slippers for guests.4. Told you off for wearing outdoor clothes indoors.5. If you got a B at school, asked you why you didn’t get an A.6. If you got an A at school, asked you why you didn’t get an A+.7. If you got an A+, asked you why you didn’t get 100%.8. Insisted you wear a scarf at all times if you got a sore throat.9. Also made you gargle salt water to soothe your sore throat.10. Told you that you’re not allowed to shower if you had a cold because that means exposing yourself to the cold and getting even more sick.11. Told you off for having bare feet because that’s how you get sick.12. Said that having bare feet will freeze your ovaries.13. As will sitting on cold surfaces.14. Made you sweet tea with raspberries when you’re sick.15. Gave you valerian root when you’re stressed.16. Insisted you wash your hands first thing when you get home.17. Told you about someone she knows that definitely has the evil eye.18. Never let you announce good news until it’s absolutely set in stone because of the evil eye.19. Made you sit down for a bit before going on a long journey.20. Made you look in the mirror if you come back home after leaving because you forgot something.21. Quoted Pushkin.22. Quoted Tolstoy.23. Said something deeply poignant in passing.24. Said something deeply poignant and philosophical intentionally that immediately made you feel better and more reflective about life.25. Spent 15 minutes wishing you every possible good thing on your birthday.26. Spent half an hour standing at the doorway saying goodbye to guests.27. Gave an excessively long speech or toast.28. Insisted the house must be spotless if you have guests over.29. Bought crystal glassware for special occasions.30. Always uses a tablecloth.31. Has a special tablecloth, only to be used at parties.32. Insisted you only gave bouquets of an odd number of flowers, because an even number of flowers are for funerals and dead people only.33. Received/gave flowers on 8th March.34. Explained behaviour in reference to zodiac signs.35. Used smileys like this)))36. Owned a multitude of silk and woolen scarves.37. Told an anecdote.38. Made borsch.39. Made any other type of soup.40. Made enough soup to last five days.41. Only owns rose gold or silver jewellery.42. Also owns a lot of amber jewellery.43. Loves TK Maxx.44. Said someone had “a kind face”.45. Said someone had “an untrustworthy face”.46. Told you off if you didn’t wash a fruit or vegetable before eating or cooking it.47. Knew your Chinese zodiac and if the new year was the same as your zodiac, insisted that it was going to be a good year for you.48. Referred to any technical profession as “engineer”.49. Made homemade jam.50. Thought that a party without lots of proper food barely constitutes a party.51. Dressed better than all the other mums.
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