1. Mandarin does not give a damn about tenses.
2. The alphabet is totally phonetic.
3. It doesn't have that many combinations of sounds.
As opposed to thousands in English.
4. Mandarin ain't got no time for too many syllables.
5. You can usually understand people even if you can't make out the tones.
6. You could even just learn spoken Chinese with Pinyin and be illiterate.
7. Don't like articles? GREAT! Mandarin doesn't either.
8. Nouns don't have plurals.
Nouns do have "units" that you have to remember, but kiss those -es's goodbye.
9. OR genders.
10. All sentence patterns are fixed.
Subject + time + location + verb + object all day every day.