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If "Friends" Had Been Set In Birmingham

The One Where Rachel Vapes.

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1. The opening credits would be set in Victoria Square.

2. Central Perk would just be another Costa chain.

3. Or more likely, just a pub.

4. They'd all live in unaffordable flats in The Mailbox.

5. Except Phoebe, who'd live in Nechells.

6. Instead of "How you doin'?", Joey would say "Alright bab?”

7. And he'd be more into balti than pizza.

8. He'd be a regular cast member on Doctors.

9. Which would lead to him being nominated for an award by The Midlands Royal Television Society. He'd lose, ungracefully.

10. He'd then volunteer to host the BBC's Children in Need, where he'd end up making a small appearance reading out a couple of local donations from Birmingham.

11. Rachel would work in Selfridges.

12. Where she's take up vaping to try and get close to her boss.

13. Monica would work at Adam's or Purnell's.

14. or anywhere that was impossible to book a table or find parking.

15. Monica's homeware obsession would be fuelled by PROVIDE.

16. Paul the Wine Guy's nickname would be explained by him having worked at Loki.

17. And Pete would have joined Birmingham Wrestling Club.

18. Ross would work in the Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery.

19. And lecture at BCU.

20. Where he'd get into a relationship with a fresher.

21. His sandwich rage would have been justified because it was a Philpotts special.

22. Ross' sofa would be from the neverending DFS sale.

23. Ross would start dating someone from Coventry but fall asleep on the train and end up in London.

24. Chandler and Joey would lose Ben on the Number 11 Bus.

25. And still no one would know what Chandler did for a living.

26. Ross, Chandler, and Joey would be frequent visitors to Villa park, where Ross would be smacked in the face by a stray football.

27. Phoebe would drive an Uber by night.

28. And work at the spa in the Cube during the day.

29. Phoebe would apply for Britain's Got Talent when they're auditioning in Birmingham.

30. Which would result in "Smelly Cat" becoming a viral hit on YouTube.

31. Phoebe's wedding wouldn’t have taken place in the snow because it never snows in Birmingham.

32. There would be a lot more swearing.

33. Instead of taking a trip to Barbados, the group would travel to Magaluf.

34. Monica and Chandler would eventually buy a big house in Sutton Coldfield.

35. Ross would be able to stop Rachel getting on the plane because there's only one airport in Birmingham.

36. But in reality he'd get horribly lost in the confusing car park and she'd end up in Paris after all.


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