People Are Sharing The Biggest Reasons They Don't Want Kids, And Every Single One Is Valid

    "Housing and cost of living are through the roof. Having another mouth to feed would put us further into poverty and wouldn’t be fair for the kid."

    Note: This post contains mention of mental illness and suicide.

    As someone who's chosen to remain childfree, I've always been interested in hearing why other folks don't want kids.

    But now that Roe v. Wade has been overturned, it's an especially important and timely discussion.

    So when I saw that Reddit user u/lucinangel recently asked about the reasons why people don't want children, I immediately clicked.

    And there were so many wonderful responses, every single one of them valid! Here are some of the top-voted answers:

    1. "It’s not economically possible at the moment. Housing and costs of living are through the roof. If I were to move into an apartment with a partner, we would already be living in poverty, even if we both worked decent jobs. Having another mouth to feed would put us further into poverty and wouldn’t be fair for the kid."


    "I've realized this, too, and I've noticed my boyfriend has as well, because his talk about wanting kids isn't the same as it was when we first started dating two years ago. And the thing is, even if we weren't already living in poverty, having a kid would take us to that level due to how expensive raising kids is. Plus, with the added costs of inflation, it's really not worth the stress. I don't want to bring kids into this world if it means they're going to live a life FULL of struggles."


    2. "It can really wreck you physically and emotionally. Even if it's an easy pregnancy, your whole body/hormonal makeup changes wildly. People act like it's nine months of sitting in a field, making flower crowns, and serenely stroking your growing belly. Nah bro, it's mood swings, having your guts kicked from the inside, your hair changes, eyesight might change, all kinds of shit I had no idea about until my friends started popping out kids."


    3. "I like sleep too much."


    "I will never love anyone enough to give up sleep for them. Lack of sleep makes me an awful person."


    4. "What if the baby is a girl? Do I want to raise a young woman knowing the country I'm living in is actively eroding her rights? What if my kid is gay or trans? Can I raise a kid whose identity my country seems bent on actively criminalizing? Will I be able to get them the medical help and community support they need to grow into a happy, healthy adult? If my partner isn't white like me, am I prepared to help teach a kid about shit like police brutality and systemic racism, and live knowing there's shit-all I can do to protect them from those things?"

    "Am I prepared to lose a kid to a school/public shooting? Am I prepared to protect a kid from radicalization or predation on the internet? Am I prepared to protect and provide for a kid if global warming makes the world go full Apocalypse Now? The honest answer to all of those questions is probably not."


    5. "There are too many people already. One of the biggest environmental impacts we can have is by having no children."


    "I read online a few years ago that even if you recycled every single thing you purchased/consumed, grew your own food, never owned a vehicle, and did everything 100% sustainable, it would be a drop in the bucket compared to simply not having children."


    6. "I don’t like children so much that I’d want to be saddled with them and the responsibility it entails for the rest of my life. I’m happy to be an aunt."


    "I quite like kids. I am very maternal toward my nephews. But being a parent would make me an anxious, high-strung, overworked mess. The stress of it gives me chills. I'd be emotionally miserable, and my marriage would likely fail.

    "As of now, I am a happily married, 41-year-old woman, no regrets. I sleep and eat on my own schedule, have quiet morning coffees, and do as I please. Savings in the bank. A lovely four-bedroom home with three cats. Vacations for two. Happy hours with friends whenever it suits my mood. Life is good. I'm not giving that up."


    7. "I'm barely capable of taking care of myself, so I definitely shouldn't be responsible for a child."


    "I commend this sentiment so much, and I wish more people would follow. My brother is 40 years old and never had kids, simply stating he knows he wouldn't be capable of taking care of them. There're so many unwanted kids in this world because people don't think this through before having them."


    8. "I grew up poor, so you bet your ass I'm enjoying my money, not having to worry about diapers and baby formula."


    "I feel this so much. I was the kid who never had the money to go to the movies, concert, or whatever it was my friends wanted to do. I make decent money now but am so stuck in poverty mindset that I'm terrified to spend it. I genuinely don't feel like I will ever feel financially stable enough to feel comfortable supporting a kid."


    9. "All that noise…hurts my head."


    "'But it's different when it's your own child.' Yeah, I know. I can't just walk away from it; I'm the one who would have to deal with it."


    10. "The pain of childbirth. To everyone who’s saying, 'You'll forget the pain when you hold that baby in your arms,' I don't care. I'll still feel it, and I don‘t want this."


    "And don’t forget that the husband stitch is still getting done illegally. Women end up in years of pain without knowing WTF is going on until they finally find a doctor who doesn’t ridicule them for their suspicion and actually checks for it."


    11. "Mental illness runs in my family, and so does suicide. I don’t want to have a child and give them the same mental problems I have."


    12. "I got a cat, and the amount of anxiety and panic I regularly have over being responsible for an animal that doesn't need to be taught to walk is nuts."


    13. "I'm self-aware enough to know I'm not good with kids. I don't want to be one of 'those' people who end up resenting their own children because they were pressured into parenthood or, worse, wanted to 'try it' like it's a game. I've been called selfish for not wanting kids (usually by weirdly aggressive parents who were seemingly desperate to validate their choices). I'll never understand why my decision impacts certain individuals on such a deeply personal level."


    14. "I have a puppy. She is six months old, and I've had her since she was two months. I never really understood the responsibility that comes with that, if you want to be a good dog parent. But I spend a lot of time with her, and it’s limited things I can do socially. I can’t just leave her locked up for hours at a time without feeling like an asshole. But holy shit, a child? Nah, I can't even fathom how much more work it is than a dog. I know it’s enough that I am turned off hardcore."


    15. "A two-person income with no children is too sexy to pass up on."


    16. "I enjoy money, free time, order, and quiet. Pretty much the exact opposite of what happens when you have a kid."


    17. "When you give birth, you can tear from your vaginal opening to your butthole. No thanks."


    18. "I’m scared that I would give them an unhappy childhood and life like me and my sister. When my sister and I had a conversation about our broken family, she said she didn’t ask to be born, and she wished she hadn't been. I have always thought about that, too. But when she said it out loud, I felt horrible for us. I’m afraid that my own children would feel and think the same."


    19. "I babysat my 4-year-old nephew and 2-year-old niece over a long weekend. Absolutely never again, for any reason, ever."


    20. "I have sensory processing issues that make me get overwhelmed very easily, and I can't deal with lots of noise. I can barely take care of myself; I don't want to be responsible for a whole other helpless person."


    21. "I'll be 40 early next year. I had a wife and stepson for 10 years. I spent my time raising a son; I'm done. I'm living for me now. I got a vasectomy last year, and it was the best decision I've ever made."


    22. "I live in Texas, so I worry if my child is gay, trans, or otherwise not 'the norm,' there will be all kinds of issues to deal with, even as far as me going to jail for supporting them."


    23. "If something becomes life-threatening in pregnancy, my partner would likely be sitting, waiting for lawyers to figure out what the 'heartbeat law' requires. Also, new abortion restrictions can be enacted anytime without warning by the state congressional supermajority. Thanks, Ohio."


    24. And finally, "I just don't want them and never have. Simple as that. I do like children in general but have no urge whatsoever to have any of my own."


    "My family truly cannot wrap their heads around this answer when I say 'because I don't want them.' Why would I make such a life-altering decision if I have no desire? I always explain that you don't go to the pet store and get a cat even though you don't want one, so why would I do this on a much larger, more expensive scale?"


    "Yep. I can't believe how often I've tried to come up with a 'better' reason because people just won't accept this one. I do not have children because I do not want that job. If other people want to have them, great. I support your choices. But I'm done trying to come up with reasons that will satisfy anyone who just can't fathom people having different goals."


    Have you chosen to remain childfree? If so, I'd love to hear your reasons in the comments below!

    Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.