1.When you say "I can not," what you actually mean is "What I am being faced with is too stupid for words."
2.Thanks to the fucking Kardashians, people associate your accent with a tragic piece of pop culture...
3.You know that abbreviating random words would save time the world lots of time if everyone else would just catch on already.
4.You realize that people associate your voice with being a bitch, but it's not your fault.
5.It's super annoying when people try to imitate you because they never put their "likes" in the right place.
6.There is no question that insults are best created by smashing two unrelated words together.
7.Of course you recognize UGGGGGGGGH as a full sentence.
8.When you're around hometown people, your voice goes up at least 2 octaves and your mouth goes turbo.
9.You do actually know the literal meaning of the word literal.
10.Uptalk? Generally has more to do with the intelligence factor of the person you're talking to than your own confidence.
11.And seriously? You're thinking of setting a python loose on the next person who says the words "vocal fry."
12.Hyperbole is your bitch, Bitch.
13.People in general seem surprisingly cool with telling you that you sound stupid.
14.But you know that someone judging your intelligence based on your regional dialect says more about them than you.
15.Oh, and you can obviously tell when someone is just smiling and nodding because they didn't understand what you said. You just smile and nod back because fuck 'em, amIright?
