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21 Real AF Truths About Moms Who Love Wine

A nice Malbec pairs great with Cheese Nips.

1. You can hear someone opening a bottle of wine from three rooms away.


Pavlov's moms.

2. The cards your kids make you at school refer to wine so often you're pretty sure the teacher is judging you.

Facebook: mommyloveswine

Whatever. You saw her bidding on that vintage cab at the school's silent auction.

3. You don't believe for a second that stainless steel temperature controlled bottles were meant for water.

4. You've considered giving up wine for New Years, but decided that giving up water would be easier.


5. You know that fancy glasses are for people who love to do dishes.

Instagram: @shannonlynch09

And don't drink very much wine, tbh.

6. You know that buying a case now just means fewer trips to the grocery store later.

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You're pretty much a time management genius.

7. You've been known to have a glass in the shower.

Instagram: @mattystephen3

What? It's basically the same as champagne in a bubble bath.

8. You know which wines pair best with which leftover kid snacks.

United Artists

Goldfish crackers and Cheez-its go with Malbec. String cheese is clearly meant to be paired with white.

9. Wine also pairs well with bread crusts your children won't eat.


10. You have at least one t-shirt that references wine.

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Less whine, more WINE, amiright?

11. You wait for 5pm to hit like a kindergartener waits for the school bell.


12. Then you go to pour a glass and the bottle is empty.



13. You've also taken to freezing grapes to chill your white wine without watering it down.

Instagram: @ndngirl83

#LIFEHACK, bitches.

14. You know that wine in a box is still wine and that's a win.


15. When you hear a parent say, "I need a bottle" you never know if they are referring to a bottle of wine or a baby bottle.

16. You have no problem drinking your wine out of your child's favorite cup.

Melanie Martinez

17. You know that wine freezes and makes a great slushie.


Sometimes you add fruit. Then it's practically a green smoothie.

18. Your kids can always tell when you've been drinking the reds.

Instagram: @ifwordsdonthurt

Mommy, your teeth are purple again.

19. Spilling wine is the equivalent of your baby puking up hard-earned breast milk.


20. Stains on clothes at your home are either: poop, barf or wine.


21. Wine is a great meal replacement.

Instagram: @annatalese

Wine diets are the best diets.