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Parents

19 Ways Back To School Season Is Going To Fuck You Up

WHY ARE SCHOOLS STILL USING SNAIL MAIL, MAN!?

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1. You didn't even realize it was August until those back-to-school commercials snuck into your regularly scheduled programming of Dog with a Blog.

DAMN YOU, K-MART.
MLB

DAMN YOU, K-MART.

2. You had big plans to start working your way back towards school bedtime, but your kid is sticking hard and fast to that lax summer bedtime.

youtube.com

Everyone will be sad come 7 AM that first week of school.

3. Speaking of bedtimes, you're going to have to adjust yours, too. No more "sleeping in" until 8am for you!

Now This

4. You're momentarily psyched about no longer having to pay for $ummer camp, until you realize extracurricular activities are about to leech onto your bank account.

Young Money Entertainment

Do they really need to play club baseball? I hear boredom is good for kids.

5. Everyone else's lunches are more interesting (thanks, Pinterest). Your poor kid is probably going to be triggered by jelly sandwiches for the rest of their life.

instagram.com

The difference has not escaped your child and they are thrilled to lay on the guilt/go on hunger strikes until you turn their food into Moana. NOW.

6. Even though last year's backpack/lunchbox/pencil case is still in good shape, they want a new one, and you did not add it in to your school supplies budget.

FML. (Find this backpack HERE, $34.99)
Parkland

FML. (Find this backpack HERE, $34.99)

7. You curse the day that Lisa Frank ever made pencils more exciting.

instagram.com

Honestly, you could never imagine cursing the day Lisa Frank did anything, but here we fucking are.

8. Your school insists on sending everything via snail mail, and you obviously lose most of it, so you have no idea what classroom to send them to on day one.

Tristar

Ugh, you've got to make a friend who stays on top of this shit. Which teacher was the one to avoid again?

9. And speaking of writing things down on actual paper instead of sending email like a modern human, does anyone know what the supplies list looks like this year?

Did they want notepads or tissues? How many packs of loose leaf paper? And also, AGAIN WITH THE PAPER?
i.imgur.com / Via i.imgur.com

Did they want notepads or tissues? How many packs of loose leaf paper? And also, AGAIN WITH THE PAPER?

10. UGH. The carpool line.

Jenny Ingram/BuzzFeed

We're all adults here. How has no one figured out to PULL FORWARD.

11. This also likely means you'll need to get dressed EVERY day.

MTV

Dammit, where'd I put any pair of shoes that aren't flip flops?

12. OMG, homework.

wattpad.com / Via Marvel

If you think homework is for kids, you've never been a parent.

13. Getting your kids out of the house that first day like:

twitter/factsofschool

14. Brace yourself for the post-summer self-pity.

Me as soon as I get home today. #firstdayofschool

Twitter: @jenjens09 / Via Disney

"I had a really long day, mom. Can you make me a snack?"

Oh, OK. No, that’s cool. I didn’t work 8 hours while you played math games in crayon and dodgeball. Coming right up, champ!

15. On the upside, you're going to have to make a lot fewer pancakes for breakfast.

Nickelodeon

This does not mean they won't ask for them for dinner, tho.

16. You'll probably start getting places on time again.

Warner Bros

Nothing keeps you from getting out the door like a small human who can't find their bag filled with toys.

17. You might complete a conversation once or twice a day.

Macey J Foronda/BuzzFeed

No snacks, no spills, no "mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom...I drew on my face, don't I look cool?!"

18. You might actually finish your coffee while it's hot.

19. And then there's that realization that when they come home, they'll be a day smarter, and a grade older.

Savoy Pictures

NO!!!!! My baby!!!

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