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19 Ways Back To School Season Is Going To Fuck You Up


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4. You're momentarily psyched about no longer having to pay for $ummer camp, until you realize extracurricular activities are about to leech onto your bank account.

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Do they really need to play club baseball? I hear boredom is good for kids.


5. Everyone else's lunches are more interesting (thanks, Pinterest). Your poor kid is probably going to be triggered by jelly sandwiches for the rest of their life.

The difference has not escaped your child and they are thrilled to lay on the guilt/go on hunger strikes until you turn their food into Moana. NOW.

7. You curse the day that Lisa Frank ever made pencils more exciting.

Honestly, you could never imagine cursing the day Lisa Frank did anything, but here we fucking are.

8. Your school insists on sending everything via snail mail, and you obviously lose most of it, so you have no idea what classroom to send them to on day one.


Ugh, you've got to make a friend who stays on top of this shit. Which teacher was the one to avoid again?


9. And speaking of writing things down on actual paper instead of sending email like a modern human, does anyone know what the supplies list looks like this year? / Via

Did they want notepads or tissues? How many packs of loose leaf paper? And also, AGAIN WITH THE PAPER?


14. Brace yourself for the post-summer self-pity.

Me as soon as I get home today. #firstdayofschool

"I had a really long day, mom. Can you make me a snack?"

Oh, OK. No, that’s cool. I didn’t work 8 hours while you played math games in crayon and dodgeball. Coming right up, champ!