Welcome back to another week of hilarious and heartwarming tweets. Whether you need a pick-me-up or you're just looking to kill time, these tweets are for you:
1.
Them red flags be looking like Six Flags when you feeling a mf🥴
2.
Wipe Me Down No Hands So Fresh So Clean https://t.co/W1Xtw8stY3
3.
i'm so sorry for spamming my kittens but this one screams everytime i leave and she wouldn't let me wash the DISHES SO I HAD TO CARRY HER IN MY JACKET WHILE I DID HOUSEWORK
4.
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
5.
so my mum bought a lamb for £20 so it doesn’t get killed tomorrow and is planning to keep her in the garden with the dogs???? Honestly wish I could say I’m surprised but it’s very her
6.
Is the food not put up???? https://t.co/jEoAK6YkVb
7.
He looks like he criticizes the taste of breast milk. https://t.co/3rZ3BksO0f
8.
Preparing your friend to go talk to some random thirsty dude at the bar so she can get y’all free drinks
9.
When the dog picks you.
10.
This meal prepping shit easy
11.
The group of water bottles in my room when I bring in another one
12.
😂😂
13.
Today I completed a chore I have been putting off for six months. It took 15 minutes. I will learn nothing from this.
14.
a few weeks ago I faked an Irish accent at the bar & ended up meeting a guy from Ireland that night. since then I contemplated if he was faking it or not & I just found him on tinder and his bio says if he gets drunk enough he fakes an Irish accent. I’ve found my soulmate y’all!!
15.
Me in my 40s still looking 20 something over hearing my kids' friends say "wow is that your mom?" https://t.co/qBmskJRJ3J
16.
Me waiting patiently for the bartender to notice me and take my order because I know they’re busy and I am aware how stressful it is to work in the service industry https://t.co/mzHZpwSjLL
17.
can't stop thinking about the time my friend sold her placebo birth control as a party drug to this guy and then we watched him pretend to trip for like 3 hours
18.
I asked my kid wat she wanted to do today and she said “I wanna have brunch with my girls like you do on your birthday” i was like 🤔🤔... But of course i did it 😂🥰
19.
Picasso died in 1973... no one fucking talk to be i thought this man lived in 1500
20.
in high school our gym teacher asked us who we thought the smartest teacher in the school was. we guessed the AP chem teacher, the precalc teacher, the AP physics teacher, etc. he goes, nope, it’s me because I get paid the same as those guys and I play dodgeball all day.
21.
Shiddd call me mashed potatoes😭😭 https://t.co/fIubrfoxOO