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Why 1999 Was The Greatest Year In Music History

If you disagree you're wrong. Fight me.

Let's start with the obvious.

1999 was the beginning of the biggest rivalry since the whole North vs. South drama of the Civil War: Britney vs. Christina. Never has a nation been more divided.

In 1999 (well, technically the end of '98), "... Baby One More Time" literally and figuratively changed music and music video history (as well as the way we look at schoolgirl uniforms) for the rest of time.

The equally iconic "Sometimes" and "(You Drive Me) Crazy" came out this year as well, both of which are masterpieces that stand on their own. The boob part and "Sometimes" vagina itch are unforgettable music history gems.

In 1999, Shania MOTHER FUCKIN' Twain gifted us with "Man! I Feel Like a Woman" and "That Don't Impress Me Much."

Carlos Santana's "Smooth," Third Eye Blind's "Jumper," and Pearl Jam's "Last Kiss" (oh where oh where can my baby be?!?!) were big in 1999 as well.

1999 was the year of Jennifer Lopez (as a singer). Jennifer Lopez (not J.Lo yet) released "If You Had My Love" and internationally renowned gay anthem "Waiting for Tonight."

Speaking of gay anthems, the gayest remix of all time came out in 1999. I'm of course talking about "It's Not Right But It's Okay (Thunderpuss Mix)."

Blink 182 was, like, the coolest rock band. "What's My Age Again" and "All The Small Things" came out that year.

Lenny Kravitz released his biggest hits in 1999: "Fly Away" and "American Woman."

The one-hit wonders in 1999 were on point (and obviously iconic):

"Save Tonight" by (that one guy?) Eagle-Eye Cherry

"Steal My Sunshine" by LEN

"She's So High" by Tal Bachmann

"Better Days" by Citizen King

"We Like to Party" by the Vengaboys

"What It's Like" by Everlast

"Take a Picture" by Filter

"Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen" by Baz Luhrmann

Eiffel 65's "Blue (Da Ba Dee)," Lou Bega's "Mambo #5," AND New Radicals' "You Get What You Give" happened in 1999.

The irrefutable greatest song in boy band history, "I Want It That Way," came out in 1999.

NSYNC-wise, the ramen noodle hair we've grown to love happened that year. "I Drive Myself Crazy" came out in 1999.

1999 was also peak 98 Degrees!

Eminem blew up in 1999 with "My Name Is."

Your mom's all-time favorite song, "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer, came out in 1999.

Criminally underrated trio Blaque released "808" and their collab with JC Chasez, "Bring It All To Me."

Two Destiny's Child classics came out in 1999. I'm talking about "Bills Bills Bills" and "Bug a Boo."

Lit's "My Own Worst Enemy," Jewel's "Hands," Will Smith's "Wild Wild West," and Lauryn Hill's "Everything Is Everything" were popular this year too.

In 1999, the world was introduced to Mariah Carey's alter ego Bianca in "Heartbreaker."

Brandy released "Have You Ever" and "Almost Doesn't Count." Monica released "Angel of Mine."

Middle school slow-dance staple "Amazed" by Lonestar was No. 1 for eight weeks during the summer of '99 (on the country charts).

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Another middle school slow-dance staple, "Back at One," came out in '99 as well.

702 blew our goddamn minds with "Where My Girls At?"

THE ORIGINAL ASS ANTHEM, "Back That Azz Up," came out in 1999.

In 1999, Madonna released "Nothing Really Matters" and "Beautiful Stranger." The Offspring released "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" and "Why Don't You Get a Job." Kid Rock released "Bawataba" and "Cowboy." RIP Joe C.

The greatest TLC song (after "Waterfalls"), "No Scrubs," came out in 1999.

"No Scrubs" gave us the greatest Left Eye verse (after "Waterfalls"). Her part in "No Scrubs" is iconic and the first tonal acknowledgment of digital television.

Sarah McLachlan released the guilt-trip anthem "Angel" in 1999. "I Will Remember You" came out the same year too.

Cher's "Believe" was the absolute biggest song of 1999.

The Goo Goo Dolls had two hits in 1999: "Slide" and "Black Balloon." 1999 was also the year that you learned all the words to Smash Mouth's "All Star."

AND THAT'S NOT ALL.

The Latin invasion ALSO happened in 1999.

And now, before this becomes TOO exhaustive, here's a list of other songs that were big in 1999.

"Candy" by Mandy Moore

"Bad Touch" by The Bloodhound Gang

"Praise You" by Fatboy Slim

"Maria" by Blondie

"Meet Virginia" by Train

"Learn to Fly" by the Foo Fighters

"I Wanna Love You Forever" by Jessica Simpson

"Nookie" and "Faith" by Limp Bizkit

"Give It to You" by Jordan Knight

"Stay the Same" by Joey McIntyre

"Millennium" by Robbie Williams

"Scar Tissue" and "Around the World" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

"Out of My Head" by Fastball

"Heartbreak Hotel" by Whitney Houston

"Blue Monday" by Orgy

"Every Morning" AND "Someday" by Sugar Ray

"Holla Holla" by Ja Rule

"Goodbye" by the Spice Girls

"Still D.R.E." by Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg

"Larger Than Life" by the Backstreet Boys

"What a Girl Wants" by Christina Aguilera

"Freak on a Leash" by Korn (lol)

"No Sex in the Champagne Room" by Chris Rock

"The Bum Bum Song" by Tom Green

"Get It on Tonite" Montel Jordan

"Caught Out There" by Kelis

"Nobody's Supposed to Be Here" by Deborah Cox

"That's the Way It Is" by Celine Dion

"What's It Gonna Be" by Busta Rimes and Janet Jackson

Lastly, our beloved silver-headed tinted-sunglasses-wearing queen, Sisqó, released "Thong Song" on Dec. 31, 1999, therefore cementing 1999 as the greatest year in music history.

Spotify playlist of these songs here.