Sit back, relax, I'm here to tell you a story about lies, deceit, not understanding memes, being rich, people who thrive on hate, liars, angels, legends, and a short history of how Britney's record label sabotage'd her gorgeous voice. In essence, get ready drama.
Our saga begins strangely enough with a random Fuck Jerry post.
Quality meme, I agree with it...but then things got strange.
Madonna, yes Madonna, apparently not in the know about memes despite the fact that she follows @fuckjerry, left a comment on that particular picture. She didn't get it.
LOL, OK.
So, then, Madonna went to Twitter and made a cover of "Toxic" for World AIDS day.
Cool.
The next day was a very special occasion, our Lord and Savior, Britney Jean Spears' birthday. Miss Brit was celebrating the holiday in her festive mansion with her insanely hot man. It's what she deserves.
Then, at midnight, inspired by Madonna's video, Brit uploaded a video singing a cover of Elvis,' "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You."
Listen closely and watch that here:
I looked right...
...then left...
...I stood there for a moment...
...and came to a conclusion: SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT HERE.
Here's where the mystery comes in.
There's a conspiracy theory in the Britney Spears community that ever since 1998/1999 Britney's team forced her to sing higher than she naturally could. Britney's voice is essentially much deeper than you hear in her music.
That being said, fans believe the video she posted on insta was altered. The pitch sped up. Basically, that video, my friends, is NOT Britney's real voice.
A fan slowed down the audio to the video and revealed Britney's *actual* voice. This is what she actually sounded like.
Not everyone agreed that her original insta video was pitched...
...but people in the know knew what was going on all a long.
Further proof is this video of a very young Britney singing on Star Search. As you can tell, she has a much deeper voice than you're accustomed to.
Therefore, I have come to the conclusion, the video was pitched.
Mystery solved.
Now only 782 more Britney conspiracy theories to figure out.
I'm tired.
Bye.