1. First and foremost, this is the king and queen of rap...
2. ... the leader of "the free world" is clearly Satan...
3. ... and in the past year, the guy who invented the Slush Puppie has straight up died.
4. Kidz Bop still exists. There are 27 volumes of it. This is their version of "Fancy":
View this video on YouTube
5. McDonald's is serving the souls of the damned.
6. THIS WOMAN HAS NO IDEA HOW TO USE A PHONE.
7. It's like the devil is laughing at the length of our receipts...
8. ... Taco Bell still refuses to deliver...
9. ... and sixth grade has become the beginning of WOMANHOOD!
10. Jennifer Lopez just renewed her contract or whatever UNGODLY deal she has going on with the devil...
11. ... that "Happy" front was total bullshit...
12. ... and I find it VERY suspicious that another "forever young" celebrity, Jennifer Aniston, was nominated for a Golden Globe. Cake wasn't even good!
13. Our beloved SkyMall is going out of business...
14. ... Beans from Even Stevens is a SHELL of his former self...
15. ... and people STILL think it's OK to take pictures with iPads.
16. Economically, there was a global wine shortage...
17. ... then a global coffee shortage...
18. ... and now those satanic assholes are coming for leafy, green kale!
19. Children are mocking our judicial system...
Kids these days
20. ... teens have their own "coded" language...
21. ... and this kid is playing a bowling game at a bowling alley!!
22. Everything about this picture makes my soul tremble and heart ache...
23. ... this cop is basically begging you to break one of the Ten Commandments...
24. And... yeah.
"Hell has gotta be better than this."
