Welcome to the house where a handful of US senators lived for over 30 years.
There are windows covered in bedsheets.
Mangled-ass blinds.
Blown-out wall sockets.
A busted-out chair.
A tub of lotion on a dirty cabinet top, next to a phone that doesn't work.
And a teapot from the 1800s on a stove that has never been used.
No, this isn’t the first off-campus apartment of every straight guy you went to college with. This is apparently where grown-ass US senators lived.
Apparently, Sens. Chuck Schumer and Dick Durbin and Rep. George Miller lived there while they worked in Washington, DC.
A 2013 CNN clip of the three senators showing off their "pad" is going viral after the Yeah, but Still podcast posted it yesterday.
And luckily for us, the full version of CNN's tour is still online, and it's completely and totally deranged.
View this video on YouTube
It's basically this old Hillary Clinton meme in reverse:
More @HillaryClinton in East Harlem.
In the entire video, we see bulk spices that are clearly over 10 years old.
A mouse trap to catch whatever brave rodent would want to waddle through that mess.
A random cardboard cutout of President Barack Obama.
A couch from the early '90s that you can basically smell.
Another couch that was definitely someone's dead grandma's and probably smells like Jean Naté and stale cigarettes.
And the stove, which just, like, has holes in it.
What did they eat?
Bulk boxes of cereal, of course.
They had records that literally hadn't been touched since 1982. Like, I'm not making that up: Schumer said that the same records were still there from the day he moved in in 1982.
That poster was definitely on the wall when they got the house too.
The "medicine" cabinet is on top of a microwave.
The bed is unmade, and they're using a chair as a side table.
The air-conditioner is just hanging out in the middle of the floor.
To call this a frathouse is an understatement.
It's deranged.
The only things missing are a burned-out candle with cigarette ashes in it:
A coffee table that looks like this:
Jugs of empty whey protein on top of the cabinets:
And a sink full of hair:
But while we didn't get to see their bathroom, we can all agree that this is probably EXACTLY what we would have seen:
