back to top

20 Things Gays In The Early 2000s Wanted But Were Too Scared/Closeted To Get

I still want all of these.

Posted on

1. Jessica Simpson's edible body lotion stuff

It was probably/definitely low-key toxic chemicals humans should never eat, but I wanted to spray that shit like Cheez-Whiz down my throat.
Scott Gries / Getty Images

It was probably/definitely low-key toxic chemicals humans should never eat, but I wanted to spray that shit like Cheez-Whiz down my throat.

2. Beaded room dividers

The photoshoots I would have orchestrated with one of these. Oh boy.
ebay.com

The photoshoots I would have orchestrated with one of these. Oh boy.

3. A Bedazzler

The things I would have bedazzled and also destroyed. Oh boy.
Bedazzler company lol

The things I would have bedazzled and also destroyed. Oh boy.

4. A Sidekick bedazzled in rhinestones

Knowing my clumsy ass I would have made a mess out of a Sidekick.
Astrid Stawiarz / Getty Images

Knowing my clumsy ass I would have made a mess out of a Sidekick.

5. A Pink Razr

The best color Razr period.
Koichi Kamoshida / Getty Images

The best color Razr period.

6. Milky gel pens

"Milky" is an inherently gay word. I should have had the entire set.
reddit.com

"Milky" is an inherently gay word. I should have had the entire set.

7. Lip Smackers

Edible cosmetics should have been for everyone.
pinterest.com

Edible cosmetics should have been for everyone.

8. Easy Bake Oven

I would have baked the fuck out of some purple cookies.
fatherly.com

I would have baked the fuck out of some purple cookies.

9. Bath and Body Works splashes and creams

I JUST WANTED TO SMELL LIKE CUCUMBER AND MELON.
Bath & Body Works

I JUST WANTED TO SMELL LIKE CUCUMBER AND MELON.

10. Britney 4Wheelers

In hindsight, there was a reason I never got these. I would have died.
breatheheavy.com

In hindsight, there was a reason I never got these. I would have died.

11. Inflatable furniture

We all deserved to be extremely uncomfortable on plastic furniture.
ebay.com

We all deserved to be extremely uncomfortable on plastic furniture.

12. Celebrity perfumes, like Glow by Jennifer Lopez

That bottle with the little J. Lo necklace would have made a great decoration on my nightstand or something.
ebay.com

That bottle with the little J. Lo necklace would have made a great decoration on my nightstand or something.

13. A Turbie Twist

Part of growing up gay is pretending you have long hair and trying to put it up in a towel. A Turbie Twist made it easier, I think.
ebay.com

Part of growing up gay is pretending you have long hair and trying to put it up in a towel. A Turbie Twist made it easier, I think.

14. Pollypockets

They were like tiny little gay worlds.
ebay.com!10003!US!-1:rk:9:pf:0

They were like tiny little gay worlds.

15. Skydancer

heyveronica.tumblr.com

There was something so satisfying about pulling that string and launching that fairy thing to the high heavens. Also, it was a fairy. That's gay.

16. A subscription to Teen People, Tiger Beat, or Seventeen magazines

*Stops for ways too long on pages with guys in tank tops*
ebay.com

*Stops for ways too long on pages with guys in tank tops*

17. A Hairagomi

gifer.com

It didn't matter that I didn't have long hair, a Hairagomi made legit art. ART!

18. Herbal Essences shampoo

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

The orgasm shower commercial with Dr. Ruth is iconic.

19. A Pocket Locker

I was a dumb loser and would have stored like nothing in it, but the idea of it was nice.
pinterest.com

I was a dumb loser and would have stored like nothing in it, but the idea of it was nice.

20. Spice Girls dolls

Because duh, is the Pope a Catholic?
ebay.com

Because duh, is the Pope a Catholic?

Top trending videos

Watch more BuzzFeed Video Caret right