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    Updated on Nov 28, 2018. Posted on Nov 9, 2018

    20 Things Gays In The Early 2000s Wanted But Were Too Scared/Closeted To Get

    I still want all of these.

    by ,

    1. Jessica Simpson's edible body lotion stuff

    Scott Gries / Getty Images

    It was probably/definitely low-key toxic chemicals humans should never eat, but I wanted to spray that shit like Cheez-Whiz down my throat.

    2. Beaded room dividers

    The photoshoots I would have orchestrated with one of these. Oh boy.

    3. A Bedazzler

    Bedazzler company lol

    The things I would have bedazzled and also destroyed. Oh boy.

    4. A Sidekick bedazzled in rhinestones

    Astrid Stawiarz / Getty Images

    Knowing my clumsy ass I would have made a mess out of a Sidekick.

    5. A Pink Razr

    Koichi Kamoshida / Getty Images

    The best color Razr period.

    6. Milky gel pens

    "Milky" is an inherently gay word. I should have had the entire set.

    7. Lip Smackers

    Edible cosmetics should have been for everyone.

    8. Easy Bake Oven

    I would have baked the fuck out of some purple cookies.

    9. Bath and Body Works splashes and creams

    Bath & Body Works


    10. Britney 4Wheelers

    In hindsight, there was a reason I never got these. I would have died.

    11. Inflatable furniture

    We all deserved to be extremely uncomfortable on plastic furniture.

    12. Celebrity perfumes, like Glow by Jennifer Lopez

    That bottle with the little J. Lo necklace would have made a great decoration on my nightstand or something.

    13. A Turbie Twist

    Part of growing up gay is pretending you have long hair and trying to put it up in a towel. A Turbie Twist made it easier, I think.

    14. Pollypockets!10003!US!-1:rk:9:pf:0

    They were like tiny little gay worlds.

    15. Skydancer

    There was something so satisfying about pulling that string and launching that fairy thing to the high heavens. Also, it was a fairy. That's gay.

    16. A subscription to Teen People, Tiger Beat, or Seventeen magazines

    *Stops for ways too long on pages with guys in tank tops*

    17. A Hairagomi

    It didn't matter that I didn't have long hair, a Hairagomi made legit art. ART!

    18. Herbal Essences shampoo

    View this video on YouTube

    The orgasm shower commercial with Dr. Ruth is iconic.

    19. A Pocket Locker

    I was a dumb loser and would have stored like nothing in it, but the idea of it was nice.

    20. Spice Girls dolls

    Because duh, is the Pope a Catholic?

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