Well Fuck, Britney Spears Just Released Her Best Music Video In 10 Years
"Slumber Party" is here.
After the tragic, problematic mess that was the "Make Me..." music video, the world as we once knew it was thrown into total chaos and war and shit.
Pop music was on the verge of being over and canceled.
The other girls didn't know what to do.
But that all changed today, Friday, Nov. 18, 2016, at 3 a.m. ET, with the release of the "Slumber Party" music video.
Sweeties, hold on to your stilettos. Britney and Tinashe just saved gay culture.
With a title screen and a cool font, "Slumber Party" starts with legitimacy because everyone knows all good music videos have title screens like this in 2016.
A spooky old-fashioned car drives through the mist or something to a big-ass house. It's chilling.
Out of that spooky-ass car, a woman from either the Illuminati or Calabasas exits. It's Britney, witch.
She walks toward the big-ass house. There's a full moon. A fire person. And Britney's back is something that would make a linebacker gag.
Britney Spears' best music video in 10 years begins.
With a glossy production and bubbles, muscular backney scales the stairs. We are not worthy.
She gives us Illuminati MILFney gaze as she traverses a hallway of iconic freaks.
There's fire mid-tempo choreo that rivals all of her choreo since "Work Bitch."
And then there's Tinashe.
Then Britney's crawling on friggin' table.
There's writhing around in puffy nightgowns.
Pretty, pretty princesses are triggered.
FA-LA-LA-LA-FUCK ME MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm straight or a lesbian now. I can't tell.