I am going to be blunt here because I have opinions and I hate lies (but love drama): Vanessa Hudgens is a problematic troll and Paris Hilton is the one true, actual queen of Coachella. Premiere / Premiere/Rocstar/CPR/FAMEFLYNET In this dissertation (IDK what those really are but they sound smart), we will explore why Paris is the only person of substance at Coachella. She did it first and she did it better. Ds / DS/Rocstar/Flynetpictures.com It should be noted: It's not like Paris Hilton became a Coachella legend overnight. That took time, cat ears, flower crowns, thousands of dollars, 27 pairs of white sunglasses, and 700 flowy dresses. Matt Cowan Let's begin. Paris Hilton invented Coachella in 2007. Vanessa Hudgens was merely a wannabe fetus then. Frazer Harrison / Getty Images At the 2007 Coachella ceremony, Paris illegally filmed the concert, which to be honest, is ic*nic and totally OK because iPhones basically didn't even exist then. Frazer Harrison / Getty Images But that's not all that happened in 2007. Fameflynet Yes, I hate to be a narc, but Paris got "caught" smoking a substance then... iconic! *** Must Credit ******** Flyneto / *** MUST CREDIT ******** FlynetOnline.com In 2008, Paris brought her boyfriend Benji to Coachella lol. Ds-ism / DS-ISM/Flynetonline.com She skipped 2009 because 2009 was a shit year. In 2010, Paris wore a yellow thing and sat next to a girl drinking a smoothie. Ds / DS/Rocstar/Flynetpictures.com She skipped 2010 because 2010 was an irrelevant year. In 2011, Paris was dating this dude Cy Waits. Here they are kissing because they loved each other then. Christopher Polk / Getty Images Her message at Coachella 2011 was simple: It was peace. Christopher Polk / Getty Images 2012 was cloudy so cancel that. Rocstar / Rocstar/CPR/Premiere / FameFlynet Pictures The only good thing that came out of 2012 Coachella was this, uh, how do you say? Little numba! Cpr / CPR/Rocstar/Premiere/FAMEFLYNET In 2013, Paris wore a faux sunflower crown and held a Sprite. Premiere / Premiere/Rocstar/CPR/Miguel/FAMEFLYNET In 2013, she also accessorized her look with a hot guy. Premiere / Premiere/Rocstar/CPR/FAMEFLYNET It was the year of blue. Premiere / Premiere/CPR/Rocstar/FAMEFLYNET Like everything she wore to 2013 Coachella looked likes the same kinda blue but whatever legends never die. Rocstar / Rocstar/Premiere/CPR/FAMEFLYNET Here's 2014. She looks kinda pissed. Premiere / Premiere/Rocstar/CPR/FAMEFLYNET At night, she wasn't pissed anymore. Premiere / Premiere/Rocstar/CPR/FAMEFLYNET 2015 is arguably and personally (I argue with myself about it) my favorite Paris Hilton Coachella year. Premiere / Premiere/Rocstar/CPR/FAMEFLYNET I'm. / FameFlynet Pictures Like I can't even finish my sentences these are looks. Premiere / Premiere/Rocstar/CPR/FAMEFLYNET She knows it. Premiere / Premiere/Rocstar/CPR/FAMEFLYNET She is like a rich butterfly who has parents that own a hotel empire and then was able to be a successful businessperson. This is happiness! Premiere / Premiere/Rocstar/CPR/FAMEFLYNET Fuck me up, 2015 Paris! Premiere / Premiere/Rocstar/CPR/FAMEFLYNET 2016 was the year of this see-thru thing. Loves it. Gamr / GAMR/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES At 2016 Coachella, Paris even did some community service and took this photo with some poors. She IS kindness! Frazer Harrison / Getty Images And now we're in 2017. Goodwin / Goodwin/Premiere/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES RAINBOW BUTTERFLY WINGS. It's like she knows how to be the right amount of extra without being tacky. Goodwin / Goodwin/Premiere/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES So yeah, thanks for looking at a shit ton of Paris Hilton at Coachella pics. That was fun. Mark Davis / Getty Images I'll leave you with this thought/request: When I die I want to reincarnated as one of Paris Hilton's 27 pairs of white sunglasses (because she'll wear me at Coachella). Mark Davis / Getty Images The end.