There's A Petition To Replace All The Confederate Monuments In New Orleans With Britney Spears Statues

    *Signs immediately*

    In case you missed it, there's a push to replace or take down Confederate monuments throughout the United States...which, like, yes. About time.

    And now someone has come up with an excellent plan for what to do with all the new space in New Orleans in the places where Confederate monuments once stood.

    For backstory: New Orleans removed its remaining Confederate monuments in May.

    Here's what's happening: A genius and humanitarian is petitioning the governor of Louisiana to replace those old Confederate statues with ones of Louisiana native, living legend, and vocalist Britney Spears.

    And honestly, it makes total sense.

    Who would want a statue of this stupid racist horse and some dusty old dude...

    ...when you could have a statue of someone with two diamond albums, a successful Las Vegas residency, and 287 perfumes?

    It would be a huge upgrade to replace this problematic man with a statue of the gorgeous and unproblematic princess of pop.

    Those Confederate losers could never.

    But seriously though, imagine seeing a statue of someone this inspiring and gorgeous every damn day. I can see the positive community influence and impact now. It's beautiful.

    New Orleans would be seriously upgrading its stuffy old aesthetic...

    ...with inspiring statues of the queen of modern job growth.

    The petition sums up my feelings on this issue best: "Do the right thing: Replace the Confederate statues with an actual Louisiana hero and influential human being, Britney Spears."

    You can see the petition for yourself here. And yes, I realize New Orleans has already gotten rid of its Confederate monuments. This is a plan for their replacement. Thank you and Britney Spears outsold.