1. Once upon a time, on Thursday, at a movie premiere in the city of New York, there was a man in a velvet suit.
2. Yes, velvet suits normally look really fucking stupid and sound like a horrible idea, but on this man it looked perfect.
3. Because it’s Ryan Gosling and it’s perfectly tailored and Ryan has a super-hot body and a flawless face. Duh.
4. So anyways, suddenly a ray of light hit his face and a man called out.
5. “Hey, Ryan, it’s me, God. I don’t think I’m worthy of this duty. You are far superior to me. I give up.”
6. “Me?!” Ryan said. “But how could I…?”
7. “Ryan, I am a mere peasant next to you. I’m resigning. Luv ya. Bye!”
8. So Ryan was like, “OK whatever” and did what he did best…
9. He stood.
10. And smiled.
11. And stood.
12. And smiled.
13. Then there was an earthquake or a volcanic eruption or something.
14. And suddenly there was world peace and everyone had food and shit, and everything was perfect and there were, like, no diseases.
15. *Gos Bless*
- Thousands have made it to the Women's March on Washington to stand up for women's rights and protest Donald Trump.
- Crowds for the Women's March in Washington, DC, are turning out to be much larger than for the inauguration so far.
- People are participating in the Women's March today all the way in Antarctica, surrounded by penguins ❄️
- "We shall overcomb." People across America are getting creative and making some pretty epic signs for the Women's March.