Ryan Gosling, A Velvet Suit, And A Call From God
Everything is better now.
Once upon a time, on Thursday, at a movie premiere in the city of New York, there was a man in a velvet suit.
Yes, velvet suits normally look really fucking stupid and sound like a horrible idea, but on this man it looked perfect.
Because it's Ryan Gosling and it's perfectly tailored and Ryan has a super-hot body and a flawless face. Duh.
So anyways, suddenly a ray of light hit his face and a man called out.
"Hey, Ryan, it's me, God. I don't think I'm worthy of this duty. You are far superior to me. I give up."
"Me?!" Ryan said. "But how could I...?"
"Ryan, I am a mere peasant next to you. I'm resigning. Luv ya. Bye!"
So Ryan was like, "OK whatever" and did what he did best...
Then there was an earthquake or a volcanic eruption or something.
And suddenly there was world peace and everyone had food and shit, and everything was perfect and there were, like, no diseases.
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