24 Guys Who Needed A Better Excuse

Try harder.

1. The man who actually, no joke, like I’m not kidding, blamed his cat for downloading child porn:

2. The co-founder of Crocs:


3. The man who tried to stop a zombie invasion one concrete block at a time:

4. The man who needed a new pair of pants:

5. The man every teenage girl would be jealous of:

6. The man who didn’t realize drinking and driving was illegal:

7. The naked dude at the bus stop:

8. The grieving parrot owner:

9. The future diabetic:

10. The man who doesn’t even care:

11. The man who needs to stop listening to Ozzy Osbourne:

12. The man goes on long car rides with his pet squirrel:

13. The man who definitely wouldn’t make it out alive when the real zombie apocalypse happens:

14. The man with a unicorn:

15. The man who forgot where he parked his car:

16. The man with explosive diarrhea… which is actually a decent excuse but not this time:

17. The man who blames his horse for everything:

18. The man who can’t be taken anywhere:

19. The man who was never taught that you’re not supposed to eat nutmeg and spit on stranger’s faces:

20. The man who REALLY hates Busch beer:

21. The man who needs to keep his marijuana in a cool, dry place:

22. The man who can’t be trusted with a spatula:

23. The man with an irrational fear of spiders:

24. The man who threw a hot dog at Tiger Woods:

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