So, I was moseying my way around the internet. I was clicking links. I was seeing what's up. I was catching up on the here and now. You know me, I was having an actual gay ole time!
Then, all of a sudden, I came across something so egregiously offensive that I had to respond.
GARGOYLES. PSYCHICS. EVERYTHING'S UNGODLY.
In Jesus' name I pray, dick pics matter!
Seeing a dick pic is like seeing someone's soul except it's a picture of their dick.
Dicks, in general, are cool because they're like snowflakes. Every one of them is unique.
No two dicks are the same.
So don't cyberbully me for liking them!!!!
Now, for the next issue on the agenda.
I am SICK OF PENIS SHAMING.
It's 2014, people! When are we going to stop body-shaming penises?!
All penises are real. All penises are beautiful.
That's actually not quite true but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
BASICALLY, if you don't like the dick, then quit the goddamn team.
In other words, if you can't take the heat (dick pic) then get out of the kitchen (my life)!
We are dick pic warriors.