Picking out produce for people who are not Mariah Carey:
Not exciting. Fruit looks kinda bad. No tits.
Walking the dog for people who are not Mariah Carey:
Not glam. Kind of lonely. The dogs are even sad.
People who are not Mariah Carey holding pies:
Not so fabulous but that pie probably tastes mad good. Not gonna lie.
- Saturday is Trump's 100th day in office. We found an average of about one false statement per day from him and his aides so far 💯
- A luxury event called Fyre Festival turned into a total shitshow. Headliners dropped out and guests tweeted photos of bare-bones food and lodging 😱
- American Airlines gave workers a raise — to the highest pay in the industry — and Wall Street is furious. The company's stock has been falling since Thursday.
- A teen had a remarkably petty response when her ex asked for his prom money back: She paid him in all pennies 😏