back to top

We Need To Talk About Italian Water Polo Players

I'm trapped. Don't save me.

Posted on

My journey into water polo–player thirst traps began as usual...

^Me.
Lsophoto / Getty Images

^Me.

I was diddling around the WWW when I stumbled across this picture of a Greek water polo team. My interest was elevated. My senses were heightened. My body was ready.

As one who falls into thirst traps often, I enlarged the picture. I wanted more.
Adam Pretty / Getty Images

As one who falls into thirst traps often, I enlarged the picture. I wanted more.

My search continued by clicking on more pictures that looked hot.

Adam Pretty / Getty Images

I was hooked.

Throw me in the pool and have at it.
Adam Pretty / Getty Images

Throw me in the pool and have at it.

BUT THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED...

^Me.
Lsophoto / Getty Images

^Me.

...and by something, I mean I randomly came across Italian water polo players and was like, J*sus Chr*st. I've been in the wrong place all along.

I found this.

Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

Like...

Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

...same.

Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

Sideline pic after sideline pic.

Adam Pretty / Getty Images

Beautiful Italian man...

Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

...after beautiful Italian man.

Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

I never wanted to leave.

Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

This is where I always want to be.

Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

BUT...like most thirst monsters...I knew there were more.

Peter Kohalmi / AFP / Getty Images

I decided to dig a little deeper.

My search got more advanced...

...and by more advanced I mean that I literally just googled "Italian national water polo team." I clicked on the Wiki and there it was...

All of their names. Now all I had to do was google each of their names and the word "Instagram."
en.wikipedia.org

All of their names. Now all I had to do was google each of their names and the word "Instagram."

What followed was nothing short of amazing. A true modern Instagram-stalking miracle.

I found locker room after locker room of rowdy naked Italian water polo players.

There were hot tubs full of hot, almost naked men.

Speedos upon Speedos.

This picture was hashtagged #italianstyle, which sounds like something I'm very interested in.

Discovery after discovery. I was like a less problematic (maybe?) early world explorer. I mean, come on, LOOK AT THIS DISCOVERY!

Land ho!!!

Take me there!!!

đź’¦

And that's when I decided I should probably stop because I could do this all day.

Y'all have permission to destroy me!

Cheers!
Lsophoto / Getty Images

Cheers!

The best things at three price points