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    We Need To Talk About Italian Water Polo Players

    I'm trapped. Don't save me.

    My journey into water polo–player thirst traps began as usual...

    Lsophoto / Getty Images


    I was diddling around the WWW when I stumbled across this picture of a Greek water polo team. My interest was elevated. My senses were heightened. My body was ready.

    Adam Pretty / Getty Images

    As one who falls into thirst traps often, I enlarged the picture. I wanted more.

    My search continued by clicking on more pictures that looked hot.

    Adam Pretty / Getty Images

    I was hooked.

    Adam Pretty / Getty Images

    Throw me in the pool and have at it.


    Lsophoto / Getty Images


    ...and by something, I mean I randomly came across Italian water polo players and was like, J*sus Chr*st. I've been in the wrong place all along.

    I found this.

    Matthias Hangst / Getty Images


    Matthias Hangst / Getty Images


    Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

    Sideline pic after sideline pic.

    Adam Pretty / Getty Images

    Beautiful Italian man...

    Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

    ...after beautiful Italian man.

    Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

    I never wanted to leave.

    Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

    This is where I always want to be.

    Matthias Hangst / Getty Images most thirst monsters...I knew there were more.

    Peter Kohalmi / AFP / Getty Images

    I decided to dig a little deeper.

    My search got more advanced...

    ...and by more advanced I mean that I literally just googled "Italian national water polo team." I clicked on the Wiki and there it was...

    All of their names. Now all I had to do was google each of their names and the word "Instagram."

    What followed was nothing short of amazing. A true modern Instagram-stalking miracle.

    I found locker room after locker room of rowdy naked Italian water polo players.

    There were hot tubs full of hot, almost naked men.

    Speedos upon Speedos.

    This picture was hashtagged #italianstyle, which sounds like something I'm very interested in.

    Discovery after discovery. I was like a less problematic (maybe?) early world explorer. I mean, come on, LOOK AT THIS DISCOVERY!

    Land ho!!!

    Take me there!!!


    And that's when I decided I should probably stop because I could do this all day.

    Y'all have permission to destroy me!

    Lsophoto / Getty Images


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