You know who Felicia is.You've referred to her as "Fe".You feel an extreme pang of anger when you hear the skip in "Alien."You know the choreography for "Baby".You know the choreography for "Slave".You know the choreography for "Me Against The Music".You know the choreography to "Till The World Ends" aka the "body thrust."You've complained about her eye makeup.You've complained about her producers using unnecessary autotune.You get irrationally excited every time she is spotted with a frappuccino.You can't resist cheese grits.You get a literal adrenaline rush when you hear a Britney song in a public place."For The Record" made you cry.You love Bloodshy & Avant.You worship at the altar of Danja.Joseph Kahn can do no wrong.Except "Perfume" but that doesn't count.You constantly compare the way she looks to another time period of her life.You speak about Britney in terms of "eras".You've said: "OMG 2001'NEY IS BACK!!"Also: "OMG "IN THE ZONE'NEY"... IS THAT YOU?!?!?!"You've blamed her dancing abilities on her knee injury.You've felt personally betrayed over lack of promo.You refer to Christina Aguilera as "Floptina".You are still living in 1999 in a weird alternative "Britney vs. Christina" universe.You've felt personally offended when another artist shades her.You believe the media is too hard on her.You know the name of the VMA snake.You've referred to Britney as the "Queen Of The VMAs".Every year, you get excited for the VMAs because of the usual onslaught of Britney appearance rumors.You've complained about MTV using Britney's name for ratings.You believe "Blackout" is the most influential/best album of the '00s.You've made a "Radar" joke.You love the "Radar" horse.You've downloaded Britney's Mickey Mouse Club performances.You've called "Crossroads" a cinematic classic.You'll always think of Taryn Manning as Mimi.And Zoe Saldana as Kit.You've told someone the story about the first time you saw the "Baby One More Time" music video.You've referred to Britney as "iconic".You've referred to Britney as "legendary".You've referred to Britney as both "iconic and legendary" in the same sentence.You can name at least five Britney Spears dancers of yester-year.You follow her dog on Twitter.You've blamed "Britney Jean" on Will.i.am.You've felt like something wasn't quite right about her relationship with Jason Trawick.You've celebrated her birthday.Every now and then you watch her episode of "Diary".You get irrationally excited when she sings live.You've defended her lip-syncing.You've defended her lip-syncing and blamed it on her dancing.You constantly say "she looks happy."You blindly and ignorantly "forget" that the conservatorship exists.You've gotten irrationally excited when she's changed the color of her hair.You have a very strong opinion about "Brunetteney".You complain a lot in general.You use the word "flawless" entirely too much.You abbreviate her songs.For example, you know what songs these are immediately: "DLMBTLTK" and "OIDIA" and "INAGNYAW".You've argued with someone about which tour was better: The Dream Within A Dream Tour or The Onyx Hotel Tour.Your parents text you whenever anything Britney-related is on TV.You appreciate K-Fed only for providing "the seed" to Britney's happiness (if you know what I mean).You've used the word "goob" non-ironically."My Baby" is a trigger."Fanta Fanta no Coke" holds significant meaning for you.Everything she releases feels like a lit'ral gift.You love vanilla candles.Your biggest wish in life is Blackout 2.0.Your favorite holiday is Britmas.You still have hope that one day "Rebellion" will leak.You get irrationally excited over Target shopping candids.You've bonded with someone over how Britney literally doesn't give a fuck."Keesha" makes you laugh.You love a good hair flip.You've become an advocate for arm dancing.You still feel bitter that they never released "Born To Make You Happy" stateside.You still feel bitter they never released "Toy Soldier" period.Also "Unusual You".And "Breathe On Me" and "Inside Out" and a million other songs.WHY THE FUCK WAS "I RUN AWAY" A BONUS TRACK TO BEGIN WITH TOO?You always bring up that fact that Britney COMPOSED & WROTE "Everytime."You've read "A Mother's Gift".You're still bitter that they only used ONE GODDAMN picture for the Femme Fatale era.You would kill for an awkward meet & greet picture.You secretly love the pink wing.You know what I'm talking about when I say THE PINK WIG.You find Britishney endearing.You find her gum chewing endearing.You use the word endearing.You don't even mind all of the blatant perfume promo in all of her music videos.You've told someone to "Go to the light and see Jesus."You find everything to be "really cool".And "really interesting".Her hands during interviews give you anxiety.You're secretly happy that Britney got all the attention for the 2003 VMA Madonna kiss.You ADORE momney.Watching Sean Preston and Jayden James growing up makes you feel really old.You know that Jayden is going to be the star.You show your friends and family the ways of the Holy Spearit each + every day.You refer to her as Godney.You realize you are a member of the best, most twisted fan group around and you wouldn't have it any other way. Bless.