On Monday, January the 7th, Ryan Gosling looked to the sky and was told by some sort of higher being lady God…
1. “Tonight you will do what you do best…”
2. “You will walk a red carpet, and you will look fucking incredible doing it.”
3. And then he did that thing with his eyes.
4. And then he did that other, slightly different thing with his eyes.
5. And then came that closed mouth smile he sometimes does.
6. He even did the point!
7. And BOOM! The earth shook…
8. And Mother Mary (Mrs. Gosling) was there.
9. Even she marveled at his being.
10. Then, Ryan spotted a person in need.
11. So, he performed a miracle.
12. *the miracle is happening*
13. The miracle has happened and everyone is speechless.
14. Especially the guy in back.
15. Then, Ryan acknowledged the miracle with a subtle, modest grin.
16. So, let us be thankful for these lips.
17. The perfectly coiffed hair.
18. The left ear.
19. The right ear.
20. The back of his head.
21. His chin.
22. But most importantly, the eyes.
23. Gos Bless
- President Trump said he will skip the White House correspondents' dinner. On Friday, he called the media "the enemy of the people."