Dear Rihanna, Thank You For Saving Country Music
Like a cow in heat on cold Winter's day, country music needed a change. As the most problematic music genre since like ever, a reinvention was necessary.
The signs were all around us. Our trucks were breaking down. The whiskey was running out. Just look at what the blogs were saying!
America's most personal music genre was dying.
Last week, that all changed.
Rihanna, a former popstar originally from Barbados, teamed up with a team of ragamuffin misfits and dropped the country song we've all been waiting for.
It's called "FourFiveSeconds" and somewhere in heaven Patsy Cline is gagging because she could never.
Howdy fuckin' ho, Rihanna saved country music.
So slay that cornfield. Get that harvest.
Maximize that milkage. Giddy on up.
Ride that bull to completion!
Country music has a new queen and her name is Rihanna.
See ya in the mud pit!
Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!