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    32 Songs That Need To Be The Gay National Anthem

    The old anthem needs an upgrade anyway.

    1. "Gimme More" by Britney Spears

    Because is there anything more American than the words "It's Britney bitch"? Yeah no.

    2. "New Rules" by Dua Lipa

    Because this is like the Bill of Rights except way, way gayer.

    3. "Fergalicious" by Fergie

    Because 2007, the year of Fergie, deserves to be universally recognized as a pinnacle of American history.

    4. "No Scrubs" by TLC

    Because this song will send positive moral messages to baby gays embarking on "the apps" for the first time.

    5. "Lady Marmalade" Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim, Pink, and Mya

    Because I'd just like to think our founding fathers would also pussy pop to this.

    6. "Buttons" by The Pussycat Dolls

    Because every single American citizen should know every single word to this PCD classic.

    7. "He Wasn't Man Enough" by Toni Braxton

    Because Toni Braxton could still probably use the royalties.

    8. "Leave (Get Out)" by JoJo

    Because this song just about sums up my gay experience.

    9. "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain

    Because can you imagine how amazing it would be for our flag bearers to be wearing Shania's leopard print crop top hoodie thing?

    10. "My Neck, My Back" by Khia

    I would also be okay with this being our "Pledge of Allegiance."

    11. "Waiting For Tonight" by Jennifer Lopez

    Because as pointed out in the YouTube comments, "I feel gay as fuck listening to this song."

    12. "Work From Home" by Fifth Harmony

    A song that is not only patriotic but also stimulating to our economy? Yes, please!

    13. "Cool For The Summer" by Demi Lovato

    Because it would be cool if gays had a seasonal national anthem just for the summer.

    14. "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga

    Because I'm crying just thinking about a room full of gays with their hands on their hearts screaming "rah rah ah ah ah." It's beautiful.

    15. "Drunk In Love" by Beyoncé

    Because every gay has been there before....but most likely not "drunk in love"...just horny.

    16. "Into You" by Ariana Grande

    As gays, we deserve only the most gorgeous of anthems and that my sweeties is "Into You."

    17. "Run Away With Me" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    Red, white, and justice for Carly Rae Jepsen TBH.

    18. "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

    It was be a true upgrade to society if every baseball game started with a tearful rendition of "All I Want For Christmas Is You."

    19. "Dancing On My Own" by Robyn

    Because we should use our national anthem as an opportunity to celebrate the great country of Sweden where most of our great pop music comes from.

    20. "Believe" by Cher

    Because it's fucking Cher.

    21. "Damaged" by Danity Kane

    Because I want to live in a country that respects and celebrates Danity Kane.

    22. "Can't Fight The Moonlight" by Leann Rimes

    Because "Coyote Ugly" is a legendary piece of American cinema and our national anthem should honor that.

    23. "It's Not Right But It's Okay (Thunderpuss Mix)" by Whitney Houston

    Because I always thought the original national anthem was a little boring and could use a dance remix too.

    24. "I Wanna Be Bad" by Willa Ford

    Because this is a song with an enduring message that will be relevant to gays in 2017 and 3017. Iconic.

    25. "Sissy That Walk" by Rupaul

    Because honestly Rupaul just deserves it.

    26. "Vogue" but live at the 1990 VMAs

    Because imagine every NASCAR race starting with this performance? Suddenly I stan cars.

    27. "Work" by Rihanna

    Because I'm laughing just thinking about all the drunk gays trying to sing the lyrics.

    28. "Hail Holy Queen" from Sister Act

    Because there would be a collective "gay gasp" every time someone tried to hit Sister Mary Robert's "cherubim" and "sweet seraphim" notes. Also Whoopi Goldberg.

    29. The Cumbia medley live at the Houston Asterdome by Selena

    Because I won't sleep until we replace tired-ass problematic Andrew Jackson with Selena on the $10 bill.

    30. "Sparks" by Hilary Duff

    Because if "Sparks" was our National Anthem it technically wouldn't be a flop.

    31. "Party In The USA" by Miley Cyrus

    Because fucking duh.

    32. "Rumors" by Lindsay Lohan

    Because I can't wait to read the comments.

    And the Spotify playlist:

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