We Need To Talk About Britney Spears In 2018
This is important, obviously.
She is on a world tour that is basically sold out everywhere.
Her tickets are, quite literally, the second most expensive tickets in ALL OF MUSIC right now. Elton John, U2, and the Eagles tickets are like four cents compared to hers.
And I have to be completely real with you, I can't lie anymore, I saw her at the Borgota in Atlantic City and I am still experiencing side effects.
Those side effects being completely and utterly stunned at seeing Britney in the second prime of her life.
ANYWAY... let's continue.
And then her man, HER MAN.
The man with the d*** p*** seen round Gay Twitter.
Um, also, girl finally upgraded her phone from a 3S to a 8+. She's moving on up!
2018 Britney is a mom now.
A good mom who supports the arts.
Lovely birds. Iconic red blotches.
Anime never the same again.
2018 Britney Spears is eating good.
Taco Bell and Chipotle closed and shuttered.
She finally found her white booty shorts...
...has her first major fashion campaign...
...and is calling herself the luckiest girl in the world.
It should also be noted that in 2018 she ended the category of "gender."
Her collection of tiny baby furniture is thriving.
Basically, if you don't see Britney Spears live in 2018 then you are making a very bad decision and are probably a bad person as well.
2018 Britney Spears is the happiest and healthiest she's ever been.
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