The year is 2018...
Britney Spears is the third highest paid female musician.
She is on a world tour that is basically sold out everywhere.
Her tickets are, quite literally, the second most expensive tickets in ALL OF MUSIC right now. Elton John, U2, and the Eagles tickets are like four cents compared to hers.
And I have to be completely real with you, I can't lie anymore, I saw her at the Borgota in Atlantic City and I am still experiencing side effects.
Those side effects being completely and utterly stunned at seeing Britney in the second prime of her life.
Yes, yes, and also yes.
THAT CHOREO BRITNEY! #PieceOfMe
ANYWAY... let's continue.
In 2018, Britney Spears' appeal has crossed species. Beastialitney is real. Dogs are now joining straight people as "Toxic's" biggest fans*.
Is it just me or does Riley sound like he’s singing toxic by Britney Spears?
*No offense to dogs.
2018 Britney is furiously Googling pictures of flowers and keys and posting them to her Instagram.
Love this 🗝🌸 📷: Andrea McClain
She's posting videos of dancing we haven't since the great "Mannequin" debacle of years past.
It always amazes me how different your body looks and feels when learning new moves and creating your own routines! Doing the same things while working out can get pretty stagnant, which is why I love dancing! Had so much fun working on this combo with Mikey! 💗💗💗 https://t.co/6RIoBxhcqv
In 2018, Britney Spears is being photographed by a random Southern California wedding photographer who is capturing her at the grand age of seven...
🍀🍀🌹 📷: @francesiacuzzi
...like, she is a human doll now. Bratz meets Sims. Gorgeous.
🌸🌸🌸 📷: @francesiacuzzi
And then her man, HER MAN.
The man with the d*** p*** seen round Gay Twitter.
We love a happy couple.
Um, also, girl finally upgraded her phone from a 3S to a 8+. She's moving on up!
2018 Britney is a mom now.
A good mom who supports the arts.
Lovely birds. Iconic red blotches.
Anime never the same again.
2018 Britney Spears is eating good.
Taco Bell and Chipotle closed and shuttered.
She finally found her white booty shorts...
...has her first major fashion campaign...
...and is literally addicted to the chipmunk Snapchat filter.
Who doesn’t love Sinatra??
2018 Britney Spears just, like, posts videos of her twirling in her living room...
Who doesn't love to twirl all day?? 😉😉😉
...and is calling herself the luckiest girl in the world.
It should also be noted that in 2018 she ended the category of "gender."
Her collection of tiny baby furniture is thriving.
THRIVING.
And really, she's just in the best place.
I’ve decided this is my favourite video in the internet.
Basically, if you don't see Britney Spears live in 2018 then you are making a very bad decision and are probably a bad person as well.
2018 Britney Spears is the happiest and healthiest she's ever been.
