1.When someone starts scrolling through your photos and you know there's a dick in there somewhere.
2.When it's the first day of spring and there is an abundance of straight dudes in basketball shorts who have no idea that you can see it all and by all I mean their dick.
3.When you're making out and he sticks a finger in your butt.
4.When you find out he's uncut.
5.When you look in the mirror the morning after you were out all night and see the monster that you've become.
6.When he says he doesn't eat ass.
7.When you see someone across the bar you know you hooked up with but can't remember his name.
8.When a guy lifts his hands over his head and you see that sweet, sweet little part of his stomach.
9.When a big-ass bachelorette party comes into a gay bar and starts being loud and shit.
10.When your friend hooks up with the guy you've been eyeing all night.
11.When it's really over 8 inches.
12.When you're home for the holidays and one of your relatives asks you how your girlfriend is doing.
13.When you've just finished and you're lying there like "please get me a towel."
14.When someone you follow on Instagram posts a thirst trap and you sit there staring at it for a few moments just taking it all in.
15.When you know that there's drama about to start and it doesn't involve you.
16.When his profile says he's 28, but he's clearly 47.
17.When you're in the locker room playing it cool while getting changed.
18.When you see your ex with another guy who is clearly uglier than you.
19.When it's pride weekend and you realize it's been two days since you last were home or took a shower.
20.When you start drama because you're bored.
21.When one of your straight friends asks you if you're a top or a bottom.
22.When his profile says he's into "masc only" and you're like what is this 2012?
23.When you meet a guy online and go to his apartment for the first time like "is this where I'm going to die?"
24.When you're scrolling through Twitter or Tumblr in public and there's a big ol' dick in your feed and you're like SCROLLLL FASTER.
25.When your vision is shady and judgment is cloudy because you've been dickmatized.
