I have said it once and I will say it again: 1999 is the greatest year in the history of recorded music. While we are all quarant*ned, I'll remind you why.
1. First and foremost, 1999 gave us the undisputed princess of pop: the one and only, the legendary, Britney Spears.
2. There was also Christina Aguilera.
3. Boyband wise, there was NSYNC.
4. And there was Backstreet.
Never have the nation's tweens been more divided.
5. In 1999, "... Baby One More Time" spent multiple weeks at No. 1 and is, without a doubt, one of the most important and iconic music videos of all time. I don't say that as some sort of *gay hyperbole* — it's fact.
6. Britney also released the gorgeous "Sometimes" and the hard and edgy "(You Drive Me) Crazy" that same year.
7. Christina released a song called "Genie in a Bottle" and also "What a Girl Wants" in 1999.
8. The irrefutably greatest song in boy band history, "I Want It That Way," came out in 1999.
9. On the NSYNC side of the spectrum, "I Drive Myself Crazy" was released in 1999. It's literally the only song they let Chris Kirkpatrick sing on.
10. In third-tier boy band news, 98 Degrees released "The Hardest Thing" this year too.
11. Shania Twain started fourth-wave feminism with her songs "Man! I Feel Like a Woman" and "That Don't Impress Me Much."
12. Speaking of powerful feminist anthems that shaped millennials + gays into the strong + powerful women they are today, 702 released "Where My Girls At?" in 1999.
13. 1999 was also the year Jennifer Lopez made her debut as a singer. Jennifer Lopez, not J.Lo yet, released "If You Had My Love" and internationally renowned homosexual anthem "Waiting for Tonight."
14. Speaking of songs for gay people, the absolute gayest remix of all time came out in 1999. I'm of course talking about Whitney Houston's "It's Not Right but It's Okay (Thunderpuss Mix)."
15. Did I mention that Cher's "Believe" was the No. 1 song of the entire year? Because it was.
16. The greatest TLC song (after "Waterfalls" and "Red Light Special"), "No Scrubs," came out in 1999.
17. Madonna released "Nothing Really Matters" and "Beautiful Stranger" then, too.
18. In terms of songs for straight people, the Offspring's "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" and "Why Don't You Get a Job" were big in 1999.
19. Blink-182 released "What's My Age Again?" and "All the Small Things" this year too.
20. Lenny Kravitz's biggest songs were played in 1999: "Fly Away" and "American Woman."
21. Eminem also broke through in 1999 with "My Name Is."
22. Two other songs you couldn't escape in 1999 were Carlos Santana's "Smooth" and Third Eye Blind's "Jumper."
23. The greatest band in history, the Dixie Chicks, released "Cowboy Take Me Away" and "Goodbye Earl" in 1999.
24. The one-hit wonders in 1999 were on another level:
"Save Tonight" by (that one guy?) Eagle-Eye Cherry
"Steal My Sunshine" by Len
"She's So High" by Tal Bachmann
"Better Days" by Citizen King
"We Like to Party" by the Vengaboys
"What It's Like" by Everlast
"Take a Picture" by Filter
25. In terms of songs that are mostly annoying but still made middle schoolers lose their minds, Eiffel 65's "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" and Lou Bega's "Mambo #5" were released this year too.
26. Speaking of tweens, middle schoolers awkwardly slow-danced to Brian McKnight's "Back at One" and "Amazed" by Lonestar in 1999.
27. Middle schoolers awkwardly grinded to butt bop "Back That Azz Up" in 1999 too.
28. Minivan-mom anthem "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer came out in 1999.
29. Criminally underrated trio Blaque released "808" and their collab with JC Chasez, "Bring It All to Me."
30. Two Destiny's Child classics came out in 1999: "Bills Bills Bills" and "Bug a Boo."
31. Lauryn Hill won the Best New Artist award at the '99 Grammy Awards. Her song "Everything Is Everything" came out this year too.
32. The world was introduced to Mariah Carey's alter ego Bianca in "Heartbreaker."
33. Brandy's two best songs were on the radio in 1999: "Have You Ever" and "Almost Doesn't Count."
34. Sarah McLachlan's songs that now remind you of dying animals, "Angel" and "I Will Remember You (Live)" were popular in 1999.
35. The Goo Goo Dolls had two hits in 1999: "Slide" and "Black Balloon."
36. 1999 was also the year that you learned all the words to Smash Mouth's "All Star."
37. And that's not all. There's more.
38. The legendaric "Latin Invasion" happened in 1999.
39. We're talking "Livin La Vida Loca," "Bailamos," and Marc Anthony's "I Need to Know."
40. And because this post is already way too long, these songs were also big in 1999:
"Candy" by Mandy Moore
"The Bad Touch" by the Bloodhound Gang
"Praise You" by Fatboy Slim
"Maria" by Blondie
"Meet Virginia" by Train
"Learn to Fly" by the Foo Fighters
"I Wanna Love You Forever" by Jessica Simpson
"Nookie" and "Faith" by Limp Bizkit
"Give It to You" by Jordan Knight
"Stay the Same" by Joey McIntyre
"Millennium" by Robbie Williams
"Scar Tissue" and "Around the World" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Out of My Head" by Fastball
"Heartbreak Hotel" by Whitney Houston
"Blue Monday" by Orgy
"Every Morning" AND "Someday" by Sugar Ray
"Holla Holla" by Ja Rule
"Goodbye" by the Spice Girls
"Still D.R.E." by Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg
"Larger Than Life" by the Backstreet Boys
"Freak on a Leash" by Korn (lol)
"No Sex (in the Champagne Room)" by Chris Rock
"The Bum Bum Song" by Tom Green
"Get It on Tonite" Montell Jordan
"Caught Out There" by Kelis
"Nobody's Supposed to Be Here" by Deborah Cox
"That's the Way It Is" by Celine Dion
"What's It Gonna Be" by Busta Rhymes and Janet Jackson
"Breathe" by Faith Hill
"You Get What You Give" by the New Radicals
"Hands" by Jewel
"Wild Wild West" by Will Smith
"Angel Of Mine" by Monica
41. Lastly, our beloved silver-headed king of pop, Sisqó, released "Thong Song" on Dec. 31, 1999, therefore and FOREVER cementing 1999 as the greatest year in music history.
The end.
