1. He drinks Diet Coke by the two-liter!
2. He digs double entendre.
3. He'll get you that first down even if it costs him a decade of memories.
4. He ate the hearts of Cleveland Browns fans.
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Sorry, Browns fans.
5. Baseball? Yeah, that was just too easy for him.
Elway was a second round draft pick of the New York Yankees in 1981 and earned $140,000 for signing. In a short season in Single A ball for the Oneonta Yankees he hit .318 with four home runs, 25 RBIs, 13 stolen bases and a .432 on-base-percentage in 42 games. But he was always a football player at heart.
6. He's always the most intimidating person in the locker room.
7. Odds are you were born roughly nine months after your mom saw this picture.
8. He made Terry Bradshaw eat humble pie.
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The former Steelers QB didn't like Elway's demand for a trade after he was drafted by the Colts with the No. 1 overall pick in 1983. Bradshaw said he should stick to baseball because he'd never win in the NFL.
9. His expertise in black magic somehow helped Tim Tebow win a playoff game.
10. Before the gunslinger, there was The Rifleman.
11. He tucks his polo in when he gets fake arrested in England.
12. He banged Cartman's mom.
13. He had a dope video game in the late 80s.
14. This is his wolfpack.
15. Newspapers think he's still setting touchdown records even though he retired 15 years ago.
16. He turned down the role of Maverick in Top Gun.
17. He's a culinary virtuoso, as evidenced by this brownie recipe and his very official-looking chef's jacket.
Elway also owns four steakhouses named — you guessed it — Elway's.
18. His mullet is also in the Hall of Fame.
19. Does he know how to herd cattle? What do you think?
20. He teaches sumo wrestlers how to play football and sumo wrestle.
21. He knows the importance of calcium.
22. He always remembers to put Jon Bon Jovi in his place, because someone has to.
23. He threw a Vortex in 1994 that hasn't come down yet.
24. He was drafted by the Colts, but didn't want to play for them so he forced a trade to another team with a horse mascot and then he won two Super Bowls.
25. Then 29 years later, he signed the greatest player in Colts franchise history to come play for Denver.
26. Hugh Hefner takes pictures of him.
27. He married a former cheerleader, because he's John Elway.
"Good job buddy." — John Elway.
28. He's such a badass that some other badass got a badass tattoo of his badass face on his badass thigh.
