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    24 Moments That Will Make You Rethink This Whole Having Kids Thing

    Tiny cute monsters.

    1. The moment you realize your kid is actively trolling you.

    2. When you finally find your car keys.

    3. When you realize Miley Cyrus was once considered a role model.

    4. When they develop weird friendships with dead presidents.

    5. When their dream job is a little too obtainable.

    6. When they act like this in the grocery store.

    7. When you're not totally sure these are spelling mistakes.

    8. When they find your handcuffs but lose the key.

    9. When they complain... about everything.

    10. When they pick up a new hobby.

    11. When they're inconsiderate snotfaces.


    "They begged. Pleaded. Told me how they'd use it EVERY day. How our house would become THE place to hang out. We had a hot tub. And a basketball court. And a fire pit. And a hammock. But if we had THIS, well, we'd be rock stars. Plus since I "messed up with lives" by moving them here in middle school, I owed them at least this much. God, dad.

    So I caved. And I bought it. And the first night they jumped. Then I watched from my window as the summer turned to fall and the fall turned to winter and the flurries came down and the snowmen went up and the rain came down and the flowers came up and the spring turned to summer and I watched even still from the the window, waiting, just waiting, for someone, anyone, to use that damn trampoline even once more. Oh please, please, just once.

    My kids suck.

    So after two years of sitting in my window staring out like a creepy old neighbor, I am selling it to make room for gardenias or tomato plants or a stockade jail to house three grumpy teenagers.

    Haven't decided yet."

    13. When you see this in a Best Buy.

    14. When you notice kids shoving a baby in a cannon.

    15. When you come home to your computer and it looks like this.

    16. When your kid is too obsessed with money.

    17. When your black coffee gets a little too colorful.

    18. When they like their brother's bike too much.

    19. When they bring home a sex toy... I mean marker.

    20. When you have to scrub paint off places there shouldn't be paint.

    21. When they decide cannibalism is the answer — and their teacher supports them.

    22. When this somehow happens...

    23. When your kid has to draw and measure the length of a pair of scissors.

    24. And when they declare themselves infallible.

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