Nifty·Posted on Dec 18, 2013Passive-Aggressive Holiday Gifts For The People You HateI hope you have a wonderful holiday.by Mike SpohrBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink For the incredibly self-absorbed: etsy.com "There's no greater gift than the gift of giving, don't you agree, Lyndsay?" For the Christmas-hating Scrooge: askville.amazon.com "If I were you, Tom, I'd drink my morning coffee out of it all year round!" For the pretentious literary snob: Random House / Via skunkstudios.com "You'll love it, Bert. This E.L. James fella was a #1 New York Times Bestseller. Not even Shakespeare can say that!" For the outspoken (and oversharing) lover of 50 Shades of Grey: us.penguingroup.com / Via sewcrazed.blogspot.com "Bondage? No, I don't think there's any bondage in it. Wait a minute. There's bondage of the mind. Lots and lots of bondage of the mind!" For the humorless evangelizer: jesustoasters.com "I figured you'd love to bring Christ to your breakfast table since you talk about him morning, noon, and night!" For the loudmouth atheist: Samuel Goldwyn / Affirm / Via shop.condios.com.au "A religious film? No way! It's about a fireman. An inspirational fireman played by that kid from Growing Pains!" For the infuriatingly impatient: stalbansclub.ca / americanapparel.net / dreamstime.com "Man, you're going to have so much fun with this stuff... So much fun in six months." For the out-of-control party animal: centers.org "Now don't forget, Rayne. These are only for the bath!" For the boastful Martha Stewart wannabe: lacuisine.net / Via chefsjoy.com "Now you can stop struggling with all those complicated recipes and use your microwave!" For the kid of the most annoying parent you know: toysmith.com / Via amazon.com "Don't worry about it losing power, lil' Eddie. I put nine packs of extra batteries in there. It'll be making all kinds of fun noises until the end of time!" For the iPod-loving tech-head: Flickr: revrev "What a haul! You're going to have to find a way to make room next to your computer for all those glorious CD boxes!" For the biggest right-wing a-hole you know: crownpublishing.com / Via librarianwithsecrets.blogspot.com "I know you like to keep things 'fair and balanced,' Uncle Wayne, so enjoy!" For the biggest left-wing a-hole you know: randomhouse.com / Via amazon.com "Gee, I'm sorry, Uncle Wes, I saw the word 'Democrats,' and a blonde in a black dress and figured it was right up your alley!" For your incompetent boss: NBC / Via fanpop.com "I thought you'd get a kick out of this since Michael Scott's a boss, and you're a boss..." For the most rah-rah, over-the-top "patriot" you know: persiaorientalrug.com "What's that? The American flag is never supposed to touch the floor? Well, that would make this rug problematic, wouldn't it?" For the infuriatingly lazy and messy roommate: amazon.com / Via geardiary.com "Now you can dust the apartment as you're lounging around all day in your robe!" For the super macho jerk: whatsupmanspa.com / Via busquedalocal.univision.com "You're going to love this gift certificate, Bluto! And don't you worry about this place being like the ones your wife goes to. This one give MAN-icures!" For the mean-spirited old person: quicken.intuit.com / Via amazon.com "You always gave me incredibly practical gifts, Aunt Mildred, so now I'm returning the favor."