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DIY

How Metal Of A Parent Are You?

Parents' amps go to 11.

Posted on
REX USA
  1. Flickr: harout / Via Creative Commons
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    Changed a diaper?
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    Changed a blowout diaper?
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    Changed a blowout diaper on the side of the road?
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    Changed a blowout diaper and then sat back down to eat without missing a beat?
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    Been peed on?
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    Pood on?
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    Spit-up on?
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    Barfed on?
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    Bled on?
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    Wiped your kid's nose with a Kleenex?
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    With your shirt?
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    With your hand?
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    Gone a night without REM sleep?
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    A week?
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    A month?
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    Forgotten what REM sleep even feels like?
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    Shared a bed with your kid?
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    Been kicked in the back by your kid when sharing a bed?
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    In the face?
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    In the tender region?
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    Have you taken your kid to the bathroom in public?
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    At a nasty gas station?
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    At a packed sporting event?
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    On the side of the freeway?
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    Have you consumed baby food?
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    Breast milk?
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    Your baby's placenta?
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    Finished your kid’s cookie that they’ve slobbered all over?
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    Drank from a water bottle they’ve backwashed into?
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    Touched your baby's soft spot?
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    Touched your baby's soft spot without freaking out?
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    Stepped on a Lego with your bare feet?
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    Stepped on a Lego with your bare feet and kept walking like The Terminator?
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    Sat through an entire episode of Barney?
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    Sat through "Barney's Great Adventure: The Movie"?
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    Sat through an entire live performance of "Barney On Ice"?
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    Taken your kid to Chuck E. Cheese's?
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    Thrown a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's?
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    Stoically ate the pizza at Chuck E. Cheese's without complaining?
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    Silenced your tantruming kid in public with a threat?
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    Silenced your tantruming kid in public with just a look?
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    Gone grocery shopping with your kid?
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    Gone grocery shopping with more than one kid?
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    Gone grocery shopping with more than one kid and a giant grocery list two hours before the Super Bowl and pulled it off like a boss?
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    Told your kid you would leave if they did something, then actually left when they did it?
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    Listened to your kid sing "Let It Go" from "Frozen" over and over (and over) without losing it?
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    Waited in line for an hour and a half at Disneyland so your kid could meet a couple college girls pretending to be Elsa and Anna from "Frozen"?
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    Stayed up until three a.m. wrapping Christmas gifts?
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    Got up at six a.m. on Christmas morning after staying up until 3 a.m.?
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    Listened to your kid ask "Why?" repeatedly and not get angry?
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    Answered all of your kid's "Why's" until they ran out of questions and you won?
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    Read the same bedtime story every night for a month with unwavering enthusiasm?
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    Taken something away from your kid as punishment for a day?
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    A week?
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    A month?
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    A year?
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    Until their 21st birthday when you mailed it to them with a note that said, "Don't push me or I'll take it again."
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    Tagged your kid in their baby photos when they act too old for their age on Facebook?
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    Told your kid that you would pick them up whenever, wherever, no questions asked, if they ever needed a ride?
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    Scared your kid's friends enough that they know not to get your kid in trouble?
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    Made your sulky teenager take a family photo?
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    Let the photo session go on way longer than necessary just to mess with your teenager?
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    Turned up your music full blast and totally rocked out even if you do happen to be someone's mom or dad?
 
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