Remember in college when people would get stoned and be like "What if..."
Well, a lot of people on Twitter are asking "What if..." questions, but thankfully their what ifs, while just as stupid, are a lot funnier:
1. First, there were awkward sex "what if" tweets, like this one:
What if you were hooking up with someone and they kept calling your boobs “yams.”
2. This one:
what if she orgasms and it sounds like seth rogen’s laugh
3. And DEFINITELY this one:
It is very weird that boobs are like so sexual but also just for milk. Like what if penises also had Caesar salad.
4. This "what if" was theological in an absurd kind of way:
what if u got to heaven and god had a dangly earring
5. Ditto for this one:
[ creating bats ] god: well we already made birds angel: god: angel: what if they were goth god: omg what IF they were goth tho
6. This "what if" will have you thinking:
What if when u go to sleep ur brain downloads tomorrow’s episode of ur life. anyway have a good day guys
7. This one might too, at least for a little while:
What if they traveled from the future to deliver themselves? *hits blunt* https://t.co/CLLgPpS2MZ
8. But this one...not so much:
what if bike was short for bichael
9. This tweet explains Stephen King's career:
stephen king’s mind: what if dog...bad? what if car...bad? what if clown...bad? what if hotel...bad?
10. This one explains Bruce Willis':
Bruce Willis: There are four elements, right? Producer: Go on... Bruce: What if there was a FIFTH element Producer: Love it Bruce: Ok, you know there are five senses... [Half an hour later] Producer: Please, I have a family Bruce: So what if there were TWELVE monkeys?
11. And this one explains, well, daylight saving time:
Daylight saving time is like “What if night began at lunch?”
12. This Spotify "what if" made me LOL:
what if college had yearly wrap ups like spotify did This year you: Passed 4 tests Cried 2948 times Failed 3 classes Switched majors 6 times Had an existential crisis twice This is a big deal!
13. And hey, so did this one:
What if your debit/credit card had a yearly wrap up like Spotify. “You bought 243 Crunchwrap supremes in 2019” “You frequented Taco Bell at 2 a.m.” “You spent $753 on coffee this year”
14. Speaking of funny:
Me: what if you had a stew Fantasy writer: I'm listening me: but it wasn't hearty Fantasy writer: get out
15. Then there were music-related what ifs, like this one:
What if Stacey’s mom was Jessie’s girl and her phone number was 8675309? Never mind, some of y’all are too young for that mind blower. 😂
16. And this one that made me go, "Twitter, cut it out!":
What if we find out Truth Hurts is about Dave Coulier too
17. Disney might want to try this "what if":
hear me out what if there were a movie let's call it.......GALACTIC BATTLES starring Oscar Isaac and John Boyega as the gayest captains of a starship crew and they kiss like all the time
18. This one is sorta unsettling but also funny:
guys what if the kool aid man is filled with blood
19. And lastly, this kid's "what if" will make your head explode:
My 5 year old son just asked “what if we put a slice of turkey in the DVD player and it played a movie about the turkey’s whole life” and none of the parenting books I’ve read have prepared me for this question.