Skip To Content

    27 Tweets About Pregnancy That Are Guaranteed To Make You Laugh

    "If you get pregnant in Vegas, does the baby have to stay there?"

    1.

    My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight. Frankly, I'd rather cut the Obgyn.

    2.

    Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat.

    3.

    4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant. I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said: "I never want to do that again."

    4.

    [walks into 4D ultrasound office] Receptionist: Uh sir. This is for pregnant women Me: I just want to see my burrito again

    5.

    I just left a voicemail and said " please call me back at your convenience. Amen." Instead of "goodbye". #pregnancybrain is real y'all

    6.

    3-year-old: Can the baby come out to play? Pregnant wife: No, honey. She's not ready yet. 3-year-old: Wife: 3-year-old: Babies are lazy.

    7.

    So, if you get pregnant in Vegas, does the baby have to stay there?

    8.

    *pregnant wife wakes up* I think my water broke *I hide the Kool-Aid packet and water jug I spilled in bed* Let’s go to the hospital

    9.

    No. I'm not pregnant. That's my liver.

    10.

    You can't get pregnant from sex with a condom, only from sex with a person

    11.

    Dollar Tree pregnancy tests. For when you only want to be 35% sure.

    12.

    If you eat a pregnant girls food, you're required to have the baby for her

    13.

    This pregnancy has taught me: one jar of pickles is not enough. #pregnancyproblems @chrissyteigen

    14.

    "You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie

    15.

    Why the plus or minus on the pregnancy test, ept? How about a simple yes or no and we'll decide if that's positive or negative.

    16.

    7-year-old upon learning I am pregnant: "It's the breastfeeding that will get ya. Breastfeeding is killer."

    17.

    That terrifying moment when your in the bath and can't see your vagina anymore ...😭 🔫#pregnancyproblems #knewthisdaywouldcome

    18.

    Even if you disagree with his politics you have to admit that for a second term president he doesn't even look pregnant.

    19.

    Don't ask a pregnant lady "do you know the sex?" obviously she knows about sex she's pregnant you stupid idiot

    20.

    I just started crying while watching a Post-It commercial. Pregnancy confirmed.

    21.

    Nine weeks and I can't fit into any of my pants. I bet Goodyear could make a killing if it launched a maternity wear line.

    22.

    Hey guys. Stop touching your wife's pregnant belly in pictures. We get it, you came in her.

    23.

    Post that you're pregnant on facebook: 88 likes and 31 comments. Tweet that you're pregnant on twitter: 2 stars and 491 unfollows

    24.

    Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.

    25.

    My home pregnancy test came back negative. I guess my house is just getting fat.

    26.

    Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried.

    27.

    5-year-old: What happens if the baby pees? Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool

    Want awesome parenting tips in your inbox twice a week? Sign up for the BuzzFeed Parents newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form