You’ve probably seen the post, 23 Words Teenagers Love To Use And What They Really Mean, which broke down the words the cool kids use today.
As a 38-year-old man, I was more than a little lost when I scanned the list, which worried me a bit.
What happened to “Rad”? Awesome”? “Audi 5000”? Now THOSE were slangs words!
In order to prove that I’m still “with it,” I decided to attempt defining these words without reading the definitions. After all, a cool guy like me can’t be too off, right?
1. “Turn Up”
My definition: The cool way kids now say “turnip.”
Used in a sentence: “You know my favorite veggie is a turn up!”
My definiton: The “in” way to refer to TCBY yogurt. Apparently even four letters are too much for these damn teenagers.
Used in a sentence: “Let’s get our froyo on at TBT!!!!”
My definition: What teens do to each other on the dance floor.
Used in a sentence: “Tammy and Bert were totally getting their grind on to that TLC song!”
My definition: The rocking new way to tell your friends you adopted a canary.
Used in a sentence: “I just went to the pet store and totally got chirped, y’all!”
My definition: A really fine girl.
Used in a sentence: “Damn, Brenda Walsh on 90210 is a doe!”
6. “Mupload that ish”
My definition: Uploading an old episode of The Muppet Babies onto your iPad.
Used in a sentence: “Remember that Muppet Babies episode where they pretended to be astronauts? I need to Mupload that ish!”
My definition: What inexperienced driving teenagers do in the car.
Used in a sentence: “I totally almost crashed when I was changing the CD in my car, but then I got my swerve on!”
8. “Swag Money”
My definition: Money used to buy stuff that was originally given away for free at awards shows.
Used in a sentence: “I bought this hat from Vanilla Ice on eBay with swag money!”
9. “Am I right, ladies?”
My definition: What you say when you try to answer a question in an all-girl study group.
Used in a sentence: “The square root of 121 is 11. Am I right, ladies?”
10. “I can’t even.”
My definition: When you’re surprised someone less cool than you pulled something off.
Used in a sentence: “Whoa, I can’t even get that Betty to return my page.”
11. “Can I get an amen!”
My definition: What kids obsessed with Sister Act say to their fellow “Sister Act-icts.”
Used in a sentence: “Blockbuster just got Sister Act 2 in! Can I get an amen!”
12. “Flannel Friday”
My definition: What you say when there are a bunch of grunge fans around.
Used in a sentence: “It must be Flannel Friday up in here what with all these Cobain wannabees.”
My definition: How kids abbreviate the KKK. Apparently even three letters are too much now for these damn teenagers.
Used in a sentence: “It is so awful what the Kk did in the South.”
14. “Is that a thing?”
My definition: The cool question to ask in 20 questions.
Used in a sentence: “Is that a thing? It is? OK, is it bigger than a bread box?”
My definition: When you won’t answer your mom’s question, so she twists your ear.
Used in a sentence: “YAAAASSSSS, Mom, I did my homework!!!!”
My definition: A stoner who is constantly on Twitter.
Used in a sentence: “It’s 420 and that hashtag won’t even look up from his phone.”
17. “Killin’ It”
My definition: How you tell someone you’re taking care of a big bug.
Used in a sentence: “Keep your Doc Martens on, I’m killin’ it!”
18. “Sprang Break”
My definition: What a kid with a lisp calls spring break.
Used in a sentence: “Ith Isth sprang break!”
My definition: The cool way to reference the android on The Next Generation.
Used in a sentence: “Picard’s got nothing on Dat!”
My definition: The cool way to reference MadTV.
Used in a sentence: “Mad last night was the funniest thing I ever taped off the TV!”
My definition: An acronym girls use for a hot guy: fabulous, awesome, man!
Used in a sentence: “Oooooh, did you see that Fam walk by in his Jurassic Park T-shirt?”
My definition: What the even cooler kids call a turnip.
Used in a sentence: “Did you hear that loser call his turnt a turn up? Bwahaha.”
My definition: When you’re stuck taking care of the family dog.
Used in a sentence: “I can’t see the Spin Doctors concert with you this weekend, bro, I’m doing the fetch.”
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