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    23 Things All Parents Of Threenagers Understand

    The "terrible twos" are a walk in the park by comparison.

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    1. They've suddenly got OPINIONS...lots of them.

    2. All hell breaks loose if you serve their food in a slightly different way.

    Warner Bros.

    "You cut my sandwich too many times!"

    "The food is touching each other!"

    3. Handling disappointment isn't their thing.

    Ibolya Henriett / Via ThinkStock

    4. Not even Jack Bauer could get them to tell you what happened at preschool.

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    5. "Why?" "Why?" "Why, Mama?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why, Dada?" "Why?"

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    Lord give us strength.

    6. They've probably wiped off one of your kisses.

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    Never mind the fact that you've cleaned their butt for the last three years.

    7. They often lose toys that they MUST. HAVE. RIGHT. NOW.

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    Of course, they have no idea where they left them and couldn't trace their steps with a pen. (Not that giving them a pen is a good idea.)

    8. They've started to say sassy things like, "Are you kidding me?"

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    Also, "What the wha, Dad?" and "Seriously, Mommy?!"

    9. They're too small to walk at a decent pace, but too big to be carried.

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    Of course, they will wholeheartedly protest the "too big to be carried" thing.

    10. They have no filter.

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    "Your breath stinks, Daddy!" "Stop singing, Mommy!" Why you little...

    11. They're either recently potty trained or are potty training, which is awesome for you! (sarcasm)

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    "Mommy, I peed my pants again!" "Daddy, I forgot to wipe!"

    12. This little phrase can trigger a tantrum/meltdown: "It's time to go."

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    13. Bedtime is drama, and they'll do anything to avoid it.

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    You basically feel like "Dog the Bedtime Hunter."

    14. Once bedtime starts, it is — how should we put this — a process.

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    You: "Goodnight, sweetie."

    Your kid: "Wait! You forgot to turn on my night light! And my Pooh bear isn't looking at me! And you didn't kiss my forehead! And..."

    15. Getting a threenager out the door takes forever.

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    16. Despite their epic slowness, they're also epically impatient.

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    "Play now! Come on! Now! Let's go! Now! NOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!"

    17. They will say, "I'm tired!" when you ask them to do anything.

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    However, if you tell them it's time to go to the ice cream store they'll suddenly be wide awake. Funny, that.

    18. They're guaranteed to frustrate you when eating at a restaurant.

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    Order them a kid's meal and they won't eat it. Don't order them a meal and they'll eat your whole dinner.

    19. They're maddeningly stubborn and insist, "I do it myself!"

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    20. That is, when they're not begging you to do it for them.

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    "You do it! Please! I can't do it! I can't!"

    21. They're scared of a lot of things.

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    You: "Close the refrigerator door!"

    Your kid: "I can't! I'm scared!"

    You: 😡

    22. They have very specific ideas on how they want to look.

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    Most days they have more costume changes than Beyoncé in concert.

    23. They've become firmly anti-nap.

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    That is until they pass out standing up.

    The good news is your kid won't be 3 forever. Up next...the F*&%$ing fours!

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