23 Things All Parents Of Threenagers Understand
The "terrible twos" are a walk in the park by comparison.
1. They've suddenly got OPINIONS...lots of them.
2. All hell breaks loose if you serve their food in a slightly different way.
"You cut my sandwich too many times!"
"The food is touching each other!"
3. Handling disappointment isn't their thing.
4. Not even Jack Bauer could get them to tell you what happened at preschool.
5. "Why?" "Why?" "Why, Mama?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why, Dada?" "Why?"
Lord give us strength.
6. They've probably wiped off one of your kisses.
Never mind the fact that you've cleaned their butt for the last three years.
7. They often lose toys that they MUST. HAVE. RIGHT. NOW.
Of course, they have no idea where they left them and couldn't trace their steps with a pen. (Not that giving them a pen is a good idea.)
8. They've started to say sassy things like, "Are you kidding me?"
Also, "What the wha, Dad?" and "Seriously, Mommy?!"
9. They're too small to walk at a decent pace, but too big to be carried.
Of course, they will wholeheartedly protest the "too big to be carried" thing.
10. They have no filter.
"Your breath stinks, Daddy!" "Stop singing, Mommy!" Why you little...
11. They're either recently potty trained or are potty training, which is awesome for you! (sarcasm)
"Mommy, I peed my pants again!" "Daddy, I forgot to wipe!"
12. This little phrase can trigger a tantrum/meltdown: "It's time to go."
13. Bedtime is drama, and they'll do anything to avoid it.
You basically feel like "Dog the Bedtime Hunter."
14. Once bedtime starts, it is — how should we put this — a process.
You: "Goodnight, sweetie."
Your kid: "Wait! You forgot to turn on my night light! And my Pooh bear isn't looking at me! And you didn't kiss my forehead! And..."
15. Getting a threenager out the door takes forever.
16. Despite their epic slowness, they're also epically impatient.
"Play now! Come on! Now! Let's go! Now! NOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!"
17. They will say, "I'm tired!" when you ask them to do anything.
However, if you tell them it's time to go to the ice cream store they'll suddenly be wide awake. Funny, that.
18. They're guaranteed to frustrate you when eating at a restaurant.
Order them a kid's meal and they won't eat it. Don't order them a meal and they'll eat your whole dinner.
19. They're maddeningly stubborn and insist, "I do it myself!"
20. That is, when they're not begging you to do it for them.
"You do it! Please! I can't do it! I can't!"
21. They're scared of a lot of things.
You: "Close the refrigerator door!"
Your kid: "I can't! I'm scared!"
You: 😡
22. They have very specific ideas on how they want to look.
Most days they have more costume changes than Beyoncé in concert.
23. They've become firmly anti-nap.
That is until they pass out standing up.
