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    May 6, 2019

    21 Unwritten Rules Of Parenting That Are 100% True

    "Your kid will have to go to the bathroom the minute the food reaches your table."

    We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the unwritten rules of being a parent, and — wow — did they drop some all-too-real (and often very funny) parenting truth:

    1. "If you drink the night before, your baby will wake up 2-3 hours early."

    Grinvalds / Getty Images

    ashpeee

    2. "Your kid will have to go to the bathroom the minute the food reaches your table at a restaurant."

    erikab492bd0633

    3. "Your kid will definitely poop, pee, or puke all over themselves the first time you dare to leave the house without a change of clothes for them."

    jennifere45e55a2ff

    4. "You will watch the same TV show or movie over and over and over and over again, until you feel like you’re losing your mind. Then you’ll watch it more."

    andriano_cz / Getty

    maggiek

    5. "Never take a child from something they ARE enjoying so that you can go to something they MIGHT enjoy."

    psycwench

    6. "You will likely never get to eat anything without someone wanting 'just a bite.'”

    tabbymommy

    7. "Never, ever buy your kid something in the checkout aisle. You’ll never get out of a store without buying something (or a tantrum) again."

    fighting4freedom8 / Via instagram.com

    8. "Kids should ALWAYS use the toilet before leaving somewhere. Even if it causes a war, put them on the toilet. Otherwise the second you get on the road, they'll insist they cannot wait another minute to go."

    lucydraper1976

    9. "If you think it's a toddler trigger word, you damn well better spell it out."

    kaylacbecker

    10. "If you see a kid throwing a tantrum in public, you always have to make eye contact with the parent and give them a little nod of solidarity."

    dana_finnigan / Via instagram.com

    11. "When your kid falls or gets minimally injured, pretend you didn't see it. Most of the time they'll shake it off if there's not an audience."

    anasofias

    12. "A baby will sleep quietly while you prepare your meal and start crying the moment you sit down to eat it."

    anandas4313443a2

    13. "Inevitably, a freshly changed diaper WILL result in it immediately being shat in. But it's hard to mind, because babies make such cute noises while doing so."

    Pixabay

    14. "Do not tell your kids about the really fun thing you plan to do in a few days. Tell them the day of or they will ask, 'Is it time yet?' a thousand times until it happens."

    nanoregi

    15. "All that fierce love you have for your kids comes with a huge amount of serious anxiety that you will NEVER shake off until you die."

    julesmam

    16. "Don’t let your kid go to their friend's house for 4-6 hours straight without checking in, or better yet, asking the other parents if it’s OK for them to be there."

    Netflix

    17. "Share something with your kid once and you will be doing it forever (or possibly until adulthood)."

    n4433483c0

    18. "You're not REALLY a parent if you haven't made up new, often inappropriate lyrics to the theme songs of your kids' favorite TV shows."

    rayanselmo

    19. "At a kid's activity (like the playground), '10 more minutes' means '5 more minutes' and '5 more minutes' means '2 more minutes.' But when it’s something for adults (like grocery shopping) it’s the opposite — '2 more minutes' means '5 more minutes,' etc.

    Pixabay

    20. "You will question every decision you make and constantly worry you are making mistakes."

    kristenf40d387dd9

    21. "Cheerios will be everywhere. Always."

    californiacaitlin

    Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.

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