29 Things People Learned About Their Partner's Families That Were Total Deal Breakers
"His mother told me she’d always sort of had a crush on her son."
1. "His mother told me she’d always sort of had a crush on her own son — after admitting that he slept in her bed until he was 12, which was coincidentally when she got remarried."
2. "After I slept with my ex for the first time, his mom said to me, 'Doesn't my son have a really big dick? His brothers' aren’t that big, and he definitely didn’t get it from his dad.'"
3. "He took me to meet his parents and neglected to tell them that I'm black in advance. The looks of sheer horror on their faces made me want to leave immediately."
"Over dinner, his mom kept saying I hope this food is alright, I don't know what 'you people' eat. His dad asked what my parents do, I said dad is a welder and mom is a custodian at the high school. He responded with 'typical.' I stood up, walked out, and called my dad from a 7-11 pay phone. Never spoke to that guy again."
4. "My ex’s mom photoshopped my face in all of our pictures because I 'just needed a few things fixed.'"
5. "I started dating one of my friend's brothers. I knew my friend and her brother were close, but I didn’t know how close. The longer we dated, the creepier it got. The last straw was when a big incident happened at our house and he kissed her face all over and consoled her while she was crying instead of me."
6. "My ex's parents had 20+ dogs. The dogs were split into three groups which could not mingle without attacking the other groups. At any given time, I was suffocated by at least seven dogs in their tiny, cluttered house. They had to rotate the groups of dogs through the designated sleep, eat, and potty areas. You can probably imagine how well that went."
7. "I was at my boyfriend's house when his dad went outside to do donuts in the snow with his big truck. When I told my ex it was weird, he got really defensive. Meanwhile, his dad hit a tree and dented his bumper."
8. "The first day I met my ex's father, he bragged about how he left his ex-wife (my ex's mom) because she wasn’t enough of a trophy wife for him, and that is what he deserved. He then told us his current girlfriend was originally his housekeeper, but he 'just couldn’t keep his hands off of her.'"
9. "I dated a guy whose family spent their summers at a nudist colony. I never knew anyone in real life who'd been to one, let alone someone who spent a few months a year there. Yuck."
10. "My high school boyfriend’s mother splashed holy water on me because I 'had the devil’s fingerprints' on me. I do not miss that woman."
11. "My ex's dad called me a 'doxy' while in an argument with my ex. After some googling, I found out it essentially means 'whore.'"
12. "When I was 18, I met my boyfriend's mother after a couple of weeks of dating him. She freaked out, told me I was the perfect girlfriend, and immediately started asking when we would get married."
13. "My ex’s dad lived in her attic. I only found out when I walked in on him using the bathroom (with the door open) in the middle of the night."
14. "My ex's mother referred to her ex-husband, son, and DOG as 'my lover' and every time we were over, she would insist on sitting in my ex's lap on a loveseat across the room while I sat on the couch alone."
"No regrets on getting out of that one."
15. "When I first went over to my ex’s parents' house for dinner, I did the polite thing and offered to help clean up after eating. I ended up doing all the washing up for a six-person dinner alone."
16. "My ex's sister told me she'd break my neck if I didn't like her, and his mom said I was pretty but would be prettier if i got a nose job."
17. "My ex’s family had this tradition of insulting the birthday boy/girl while they sat silently eating a slice of cake. The rules were you could say anything and they just had to take it. When it was my ex's sister's birthday, they said really awful things to her, then turned to me — as I sat there, shocked — and said, 'Don’t you have anything to add? Play the game with us!' I was like, 'Nah, man. I just met all of you yesterday.'"
"I knew then that I never wanted to celebrate my birthday with them because it would end with me in tears. Luckily, he dumped me in front of my whole family about three months later (during our Christmas party!)."
18. "My ex left my birthday party because his mom called him and told him she wanted a pizza. He didn’t come back, either, even though he lived less than 10 minutes away."
19. "My boyfriend's mom decided I was a witch because I gave him one of those cute little 'voodoo' dolls that were popular a while back. (It was themed for luck on exams because he was nervous about midterms.) Apparently, the logical response to your son dating a witch was to have a family friend ceremoniously burn chicken bones and then stash them around your kid's dorm to get rid of the girlfriend."
20. "They were massive hoarders! They had magazines piled up in their living room from 15 years before, and when they moved, they filled an ENTIRE 18-foot moving truck, four cars, and a pickup truck with their junk. When I tried to convince them to get rid of some old broken furniture, his dad snapped at me."
"They were convinced that when they died, their kids would be able to sell all the stuff and make a huge chunk of money."
21. "My partner's mum was bitching about me on Facebook and didn’t realize I could see it. When I called her out on it, she said, 'Oh well, shit happens.'”
22. "I once went on a couple dates with a guy on my block who I found out lived in a tiny studio apartment the size of a small single-car garage with his mom. He was 25 and they shared a bed."
23. "I had a boyfriend who had a creepy habit of flirting with his mother. His mother was equally odd and made loud comments about my sex life with her son. She'd also ring me up to nag me into moving in with him. She was, in all honesty, one of the reasons I broke off the relationship."
24. "Once, I called the guy I'd started dating and his sister answered. I'd never met her, but she said she didn't like me and wouldn't tell him I called. She then hung up."
25. "I was about to have sex with a guy when his mother walked into his place to pick up his laundry."
26. "This guy brought me home to meet his parents, but I wasn’t aware that they weren’t on board with his orientation. He introduced me to his mom, who stared daggers at me, as if to say, 'Why the hell are you with my son?!' When we went to his room to hang out, I could see he was texting his mom. They were texting in Spanish, which I can read, and she was pissed: 'I forbid this. I am your mother!'"
27. "My high school boyfriend’s mother referred to me as his 'little whore.' First of all — ew, slut shaming — but he was also the first boy I ever kissed and I was a virgin, so it was all very confusing."
28. "I once dated a 25-year-old guy who told me that he enjoyed cuddling in bed with his 23-year-old sister. I always tried to forget it, but I never really could. It just spoiled the relationship for me."
29. "My ex's mom reported me to the police for 'kidnapping' him when he came to my house once."
Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.