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18 Embarrassing Things Kids Did In Front Of Their Poor, Poor Parents

"Gee, where are that kid's parents?" (Looks around awkwardly.)

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We recently asked the members of BuzzFeed Community to share a time their kid really, REALLY embarrassed them:

1. "As we returned from the restroom, my 4-year-old announced to the entire restaurant that I did a good job wiping my 'fagina.'"

—krystinam
NBC

2. "When I was 4, I decided that the display toilets at Home Depot were real toilets. My poor mom."

—kmbrlytktt
philyeh / Via instagram.com

3. "I was pulled over for speeding. When the cop came up to my window, my 5-year-old son looked him in the eyes and sang, 'Bad boys, bad boys/Whatcha gonna do?'"

—candyw4c1308f09

4. “At our local pet shop my 3-year-old couldn’t see up into a fish tank, so she climbed atop an empty fish tank to get a better view — and broke not only the empty fish tank she was stepping on but the full fish tank above.”

—sarsouth

5. "We used airline miles to upgrade our tickets to first class. After we boarded the airplane, my son yelled, 'We're first class, you're second class!' as the coach passengers went by."

CBS

6. "We were at a really nice Greek restaurant when my 6-year-old daughter scooted over to a sculpture of a Greek God, touched its nether regions, and hollered, 'Daddy, look! A penis!'"

—greggw439918d10
Flickr: tiffanyday / Via Creative Commons

7. "My son's father works at a grocery store chain, so anytime we go to one of their stores and my son sees a man in the same uniform, he screams out, 'Dada!' I always have to tell him, 'That's not your dada.' The workers give me lots of strange looks."

—ashleyr4d9b8d97f
Cartoon Network

8. "In a quiet store, my 4-year-old shouted that the man next to us was going to go to heaven soon because he was very old and his face was all 'moldy.'"

—halstonleighm
Warner Bros.

9. "My mom told me that when I was younger I'd go sit with random people and start eating their bread if our table didn't have any yet."

—norap4ec2fad28
Flickr: 26315381@N06 / Via Creative Commons

10. "I was flying with my 3-year-old son to San Francisco when the plane had a rough landing. Everyone was silent — sort of in shock — except my toddler who screamed, 'What the fuck? That driver is driving like a crazy person!'"

ABC

11. "My stepdaughter loudly asked in public why I wear little tiny panties (thongs) and her other mom wears big panties!"

Miramax/Universal

12. "At the grocery store my 3-year-old asked for a cantaloupe. When I told him to wait a minute he yelled, 'Get me the cantaloupe, bastard!' Everyone turned to stare like I was a horrible parent."

ABC

"Turns out he'd heard the word 'bastard' one night when we thought he was asleep and turned on a grown up TV show."

sahm1047582

13. "She was so mortified we made her out to look like a crazy alcoholic who chose booze over her kids.”

CBS

“When I was little my mother (who never drinks) stopped by the alcohol aisle to pick up wine for a dinner party. When she selected a bottle, I begged her not to get it because I knew alcohol was bad for you. My brother latched onto her leg, yelling, ‘Please don’t buy the bottle of wine!’ We were purple in the face, screaming and crying for her to put it back."

—Sara Heinemeyer, Facebook

14. “My mother's favorite story to tell: When I was three I saw a pregnant woman and asked her, 'Did you know that your baby will fall out of your vagina?'”

Paramount

"Watched too many Jack Hannah wild life videos, I guess."

jesshenry

15. "I'd repeatedly told my 5-year-old NOT to stick her hand in the ostrich cage. About five minutes later, I heard her scream. The ostrich had bit her hand. I got so many dirty looks from other parents."

—lindseyf4ec5bb4dd
Flickr: theyoungones / Via Creative Commons

16. My 3-year-old daughter and I were waiting for boba drinks when this lady came in wearing super-tight, semi-sheer leggings. My daughter yelled, "MOM I CAN SEE HER BUTT. EW CACA BUTT. HEY, LADY, PUT YOUR BUTT AWAY!"

ABC

—Lindsay Joyce Weber, Facebook

17. "I took my 15-month-old son to the grocery store where a sweet old lady told him how cute he was. His response? He reached into his diaper and handed her a fresh turd.”

—nicoleu44790dcf2

18. "We were driving through our new neighborhood when we noticed EMTs bringing our elderly neighbor out of her home on a stretcher. My daughter leaned out the window and yelled, "IS SHE DEAD?!?! SHE LOOKS DEAD!! YOU GUYS BETTER HURRY BECAUSE YOU DON'T GOT MUCH TIME!!!"

tenor.com

"Keep in mind, our neighbor was sitting up and talking with the EMTs. I've yet to learn her name because she still refuses to make eye contact with us. Going on five years now."

catherinecarat

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Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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