17 Teachers Shared Insults From Their Students That Made Their Jaws Drop
"A student grabbed my face and told me I had the face of a man and the nose of a dog."
We recently asked the members of the BuzzFeed Community to share the most hard-hitting insults a kid ever said to a teacher, and whoa nelly, these poor teachers:
1. "I asked a kindergartener to join the line so we could go to library, and he said, 'Why don't you lick my chicken nuggets,' and pointed to his genital area."
2. "A student once grabbed my face and told me I had the face of a man and the nose of a dog."
3. "My husband was teaching his kindergarten class when a kid asked him how he could breathe. Having no idea why the kid asked that, he said, 'Yes, why do you ask?' The kid replied, 'Because you have so much nose hair.'"
4. "I was working with a student when a fly kept buzzing around me. The student looked at me and said, 'It's flying around you because it knows you're dirty!'"
5. "Sixth-grade student: 'Are you getting enough sleep at night?' Me: 'Uhh, yes? Why?' Student: 'Because those bags under your eyes are turning into mattresses.'”
6. "I was talking about the Disney princesses to one of my preschool students. I said, 'This one is Belle. She has brown hair, like me!' He replied, 'You’re not pretty like a princess, though.'”
7. "A child in my class came up and said, 'Can I give you a hug? Because you're all squishy around the middle like a teddy bear.'"
8. "I was chatting with one of my second-graders when she asked if I had kids. I replied that I did not. She then asked if I had a husband, and I again replied that I did not. She immediately said, 'So you mostly just hang out with your mom, then?'”
9. "My teacher friend and her boyfriend had just split up, and when her class somehow found out, they made up a song called 'Miss G had a boyfriend but he's never coming back' and sang it at her all week."
10. "I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant when one of my third-graders turned to me and said, 'You know, you don’t look pregnant. You just look like you’re getting fat.'"
11. "A fifth-grader and I were setting up our instruments for her music lesson when I mentioned my pet passed away. Without hesitation, she said, 'Did it kill itself because it didn’t want to be your pet?'"
12. "I was unsuccessfully trying to get a fourth-grader to go back to class, so I finally told her, 'OK, I’ll just call the principal and she can come talk to you,' hoping that this would motivate her to go back to class. The student looked me dead in the eyes and said, 'Oh, so you have to call the principal because you’re not good enough to do your job?'"
13. "I couldn't tell if I had makeup smudged under one of my eyes or not, so I asked a student to look. She examined me pretty intensely, then said, 'No, I think you're just old.'"
14. "I used to co-teach kindergarten. My co-teacher was married and I was single, which the kids knew. One week, my co-teacher was chosen 'teacher of the week,' and the kids excitedly told her she had to tell her husband. One child then turned to me and said, 'Miss S has no one to tell.'"
15. "After I'd paid quite a lot to have my hair dyed ombré, one of my students asked, 'Miss, did you color your hair in with this yellow felt-tip?'"
16. "I forgot to put on my usual face of makeup, and one of my preschoolers looked at me and said, 'What’s wrong with your face?'"
17. "A little girl asked me (a man) if I was pregnant. I said I was pretty sure I wasn’t. She informed me there is a test I could take to find out for sure."
Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.