Every morning I tell myself...
And every day I tell myself...
And every night I tell myself:
Clocking in fewer than 12 steps a day makes it harder and harder to move.
So I just eat my feelings...
And surround myself with my favorite things.
Especially anything sweet.
But then I realize I'm out of Girl Scout Cookies...
So I try working out as a distraction, but my body does not like it.
So then I give dating apps a try, but I give up after three minutes of futile swiping.
Honestly, more than emotional intimacy, I just want some dessert...
And that's when I start to get hangry...
I start lashing out at everyone and everything.
My friends and family begin to reach out and voice their concern for me.
But in my time of hanger, I take it poorly...
But thank goodness, I finally manage to put together some sustenance to calm myself down.
Plus, I remember there are some Twinkies in the back of my pantry, and we are good to go!
Next, I apologize to the people I may have offended during my hanger blackout.
The rest of the day? Work eat sleep. Work eat sleep. Work eat sleep. Work eat *search for best eye creams 2020* sleep.
Oh, and I do everything I can to save toilet paper.
