That you can go about your work and the work of your baby sometimes even through your depression but with no feeling whatsoever. It’s just numbness. So you’re ‘fine’ but you’re no longer you.
My husband used to know that my go to was pizza and a sitcom. Now he knows that my thing is falling asleep as soon as the baby’s down. No talking, tv or even eating most of the time ??♀️
I wrote at the start that this was a record of hate, and walking there beside Henry towards the evening glass of beer, I found the one prayer that seemed to serve the winter mood: O God, You’ve done enough, You’ve robbed me of enough, I’m too tired and old to learn to love, leave…
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