Recently, we asked dads from the BuzzFeed Community to share the things they wish they knew before having kids. Here's what these fathers had to say:
1. "Take interest in everything your kid likes even if it only lasts a week. [If] it's important to them, make it important to you."
2. "I wish somebody told me how much anxiety is involved with being responsible for little human beings. I literally stay awake at night worrying about the most outlandish ways they can get hurt and how to protect them. They're worth it all, though."
3. "The best time in a child's life usually follows the phrase 'we can't tell your mother about this.'"
4. "How judgmental other parents are about how you're raising your child(ren). I've heard 'you shouldn't let your kids do that' or 'they should be in bed.' If you want to raise another child, then have another child. Otherwise, let other parents raise their kids the way they want to. We're just out here trying to do our best."
—Anonymous
5. "You will become a human tissue."
6. "The kid's head will cause more damage to you after [they're] born than during their birth. Black eyes, split lip, shots to the groin, etc."
7. "You will feel kind of like you're a jerk for not being able to help more early on if mom is exclusively breastfeeding. The first month or so, most of the baby work is feeding, even diaper changes are less frequent and easier to deal with. You try to make up for it by being a gopher and doing all the housework, but you definitely feel a bit useless early on, and nobody wants to be that dad who isn't pulling his weight."
8. "Number one most important thing: It's OK not to have kids, and that might mean you have to change partners. Neither people who enter relationships wanting kids nor people who enter relationships NOT wanting kids are likely to change, and that can be very painful. I love my kids to the moon and back, but they have not been a magical rewarding experience. I did not feel instantly different the first moment I saw them, as society tells me I should. I would do anything in the world for them now, but I can also very easily imagine a version of my life that is just as rich and full without kids."
—Anonymous
9. "It's not a bed of roses having kids. They are expensive to care for in the 21st century. The one thing I wish I knew before being a dad is that kids will want your time, attention, and demand lots of it. This is what I don't have at the moment."
10. "I should have left my wife sooner. I was extremely unhappy, and now that it's been a year since we separated, my kids see a happier, healthier me. Staying with someone for the kids is the wrong mindset."
—Anonymous
11. "It's OK if you don't have some immediate and deep connection with your kids. I didn't, and I freaked out a little. Some fathers do, some take time. I would die for my kids now and love them more than life. But it took some time to develop that bond, and I felt 'off' that it wasn't instant."
12. "How much you love and despise them at the same time."
—Anonymous
13. "You'll be perpetually tired. Even once your kids get past the phase where they wake up during the night, the busyness that comes with being a parent, coupled with being an adult, will leave you constantly exhausted. The good news: The joys of being a dad make it all worth it!"
14. "The teaching moments are easy to spot. The learning moments aren't. What you think is a pivotal, life-shaping moment doesn't register for them, but some moment you can't recall is seared into their memory and personality. Every moment of the day, you are an example."
—Anonymous
15. "More than once, I said, 'There's more poop than baby! How is that even possible?'"
Dads, what else would you add to this list? Share what you wish you knew before having kids in the comments!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.